


To Tell the Truth

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-27
Updated: 2005-03-31
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:32:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: A breakup finds Justin in the arms of another man. Who will catch him when he falls?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

This story is for my sister/friend Denise. She asked for it, so here it is. It may start out in a way you don't like, but I promise, at the end, Justin will be with the right man.lol Also thanks to Kami for all her help on my stories. Lately it seems that she is the one taking all my pushing since everyone is on vacation, including my betas so ll mistakes are my own. Damn DA MAN.

* * *

Brian POV:

I’m standing outside the Liberty diner after two years of being gone. I left to open an office in New York and now it’s up and running. I haven’t seen Mikey in two years. I came to visit but Michael was away with his new boyfriend. I think his name was Justin.

I walk into the diner to see the gang sitting at the booth. I smile thinking that some things never change.

“Hey boys” I walk to the booth as they stand to hug me.

“Brian” They all say together.

“Mikey, Em, Blake. It’s great to see you again.” Blake is Ted’s boyfriend who I met the last time I visited.

“It’s good to see you again.” Emmett smiles at me as we all sit down. Ted and Blake and Emmett squeeze in on one side, Mikey and me on the other.

Chatter started up and it was Emmett who brought up what I wanted to know. “So Michael, where’s Justin this morning?” 

“He will be here soon. He had an early class.”

“He’s still in school? Mikey, trying to relive your youth?” I laugh at my own joke.

“He’s a freshmen at PIFA” Mikey corrects me.

“Well, must be a talented shit if he got into that school.” I smirk at him.

“Yes he is.”

“So when do I get to meet him?” And as soon as I said that the bell over the diner door rang and I looked up and saw the most beautiful man I have ever seen with blond hair. He looks in our direction and smiled and I can’t believe how bright it was. It’s like the damn sunshine in the diner. I smile back as he walks towards me.

“Ya, I still got it.” I say out loud as the blond makes his way over to the table.

“Hey” I say to him. “Hey he answers back and just as I was about to say something the blond leans over and kisses Mikey on the lips. I sit stunned. 

“Well Brian, you get to meet him now. Brian this is Justin, my boyfriend. Justin this is Brian, my best friend.” 

“Hi nice to meet you>” 

“Uhh ya, you to.” Fuck just my luck, I see a gorgeous man and he turns out to be Mikey’s boyfriend.

He sits on Michael’s lap and kisses him. Damn I bet those lips are so fucking soft. I know I have to stop thinking this way but the moment he walked in the door I was lost in him. I know he had to feel the electricity when we shook hands.

He looks at me and then to Emmett and leans over and kisses him on the cheek. “Hey beautiful” 

“Hey baby. How was class?” Em asks him. Looks like he is close to everyone in the group.

“It was fine. Just worked on my art project. I should be finished with it soon.” 

“That’s great J. I’m so happy for you. I know how hard you have worked on this.” Mikey smiles at his boyfriend and is rewarded with a smile.

“So up for Babylon tonight boys?” Emmett asks us all.

“You know I am ALWAYS up for dancing Em.” Justin laughs.

“Well if you all would excuse me I have something that needs my immediate attention.” As he rocks into Michael’s lap.

“Ya we have some pressing to do” Michael laughs as they stand up He has his arms around Justin and looks at me. 

“You coming to Babylon tonight Brian?” Justin asks me. 

“Ya, I’ll be there.” 

“Good, look forward to getting to get to know you” He tells me as he pulls Mikey out the door. Mikey turns around throwing me some keys. 

“You can stay with me until you get settled. You just have to put up with Justin there almost every night.”

“Thanks Mikey. Thanks Justin.” 

“No problem. Any friend of Mikey’s is a friend of mine. Welcome home.” He smiles one last time before taking Mikey out the door.

“Don’t even think it Kinney. That boy is off limits to you. He is with my son.” I get a slap up side my head as Deb comes over to the table.

“Ouch, hi to you to Deb. And for the record, I am not thinking about him.” Who the fuck am I kidding?

 

“I know that look, it’s the same one you used to get before plowing your dick into some tricks ass. Well Justin Taylor is off limits.” 

“Okay Deb, so he’s a hot little fuck. What did Mikey have to do to get him, pay him?” I laugh right before getting slapped again.

“Good to have you back Brian, but if you do ANYTHING to mess up Michael’s and Justin’s relationship, then I will tear your balls off with my own hands, one by one. Understood?” 

“Yes mom.” I smirk.

After Debbie walks away I look to Emmett, who is the gossip queen of Liberty. “Spill it Emmett. I want to know it all.” 

“Wow, well they met at the GLC where Justin had an art show. Michael saw him and asked him out. They have been together for nearly one and half years. They don’t live together yet. Michael is being tutored by some hunky professor who asked him to come speak to his class about comic book hero’s and gay super hero’s. Justin said he’s all for Michael learning more. He said education is the way of the world. Justin is an artist. He’s very talented.” Emmett tells me a few other things that I have missed since I have been gone.

Later that night we all head out to Babylon. We walk in and nothing has changed. The music is the same, the men are the same. Although, there are a few new ones. 

 

Mikey and I came together as well Ted and Blake. Justin and Emmett were coming together since Justin was helping Em out with a party planning. 

“Let’s dance Mikey” I tell him over the music. He nods his head as we move to the dance floor. The music is pumping through our blood as we dance like we used to. “I’ve missed you Mikey.” 

“I missed you to. I am glad you are back.” He kisses me and I smile at him. “Me to.” 

We get into the groove of things when I look around and spot Emmett dancing with Justin. “Looks like your boyfriend is dancing with someone else.” I tell Mikey.

“Ya, they like to dance. They have the moves to do it. I am usually in it as well, but instead I figured I would dance with my best friend.” 

I watch Emmett and Justin and they do know how to move. “You don’t get jealous of them dancing?” I ask Mikey.

“No, why should I. Justin is very loyal to me. He would never do that to me with Emmett. Plus Emmett wouldn’t either. They like to dance and have fun. Justin is a great mover, and well Emmett is better then me, so they seem to have more fun dancing together.” He looks at Justin who seems to be in the mixed of the music.

“I’m going to go get us some drinks” Mikey tells me. I simply nod my head.

I make my way over to Justin and Em and can’t help the hard on I have for watching that blond bubble butt shake.

“Hey Em, why don’t you go get a few drinks. You and Justin look thirsty.” 

“I could use one. How about you Jus?” 

 

“Ya a double shot of beam.” He answers him, damn a man after my own heart.

“I’ll keep Justin company.” Em dances away as I move into Justin, pulling his body to mine and grinding our hips together. I think we fit perfect together. We move as one. I can feel his hard on. He has his head tilted back as we dance. God I want to lick it.

He lifts his head and looks at me. “Something on your mind Brian?”

Yea, my dick in your ass. I think to myself. “You’re a great dancer.” 

“Thanks” and he smiles that smile again as Mikey comes over. “Hey sexy. Let’s get out of here. Watching you dance made me horny.” He smiles at me. “We will see you back at home.” I nod my head as I watch Justin walk away with Mikey.

Later that night after getting my dick sucked in the back room, just like old times I head back to Mikey’s. I open the door and see in front of me a naked Justin. “Oh shit. Sorry.” I smirk at him.

“No problem. Hope you had fun tonight.” 

“I did.” Is all I can think of looking at this wonderful beautiful sculpture of a human in front of me

 

“Justin, are you coming?” Mikey yells to him.

“Ya, just talking to Brian.” He yells back.

“Oh Hi Brian.” Mikey yells from the room. “Could you please send my boyfriend in here so he can fuck me into the mattress?” He asks laughing.  
.

“I’m cumin Mikey.” He winks at me and walks back into the way, stopping and looking at me.   
You can sleep in the guestroom if you like. Gotta get in there. Duty calls.” He shakes his ass going in and shutting the door, not all the way.

I hear them laughing and joking and then sounds of moaning. I can’t control myself. I have to peak in. I see Justin licking down Mikey’s chest. Mikey has his head tilted back and he gasps as Justin takes his dick into his mouth. 

I watch as Justin sucks Mikey. Damn I want him. I have to stop thinking like this. But I can’t tear my eyes away from this site.

I watch as Justin prepares my best friend, using his tongue and fingers to loosen him up. I don’t realize that I have undone my own pants and pulled my hard cock out and started stroking it. I see Justin position himself to Mikey’s ass and slowly push in. Letting Mikey adjust to his intrusion. When Mikey has adjusted Justin starts to move faster and deeper. I hear them both moan. 

“Oh god, Justin, fuck me. Please fuck me harder.” Michael is begging.

“Feels good Mikey? God you are so tight. I love fucking your tight hole.” Justin tells him back which from the look of things, Mikey loves it.

“I want to ride you Justin.” Mikey tells him and Justin smiles down as he rolls them over to Mikey being on top. He rides him hard and fast. I stroke myself faster. Mikey moans as I see Justin roll them over once again as they get closer to their releases. Justin pounds into Mikey with a vengeance. Taking no mercy of Mikey and both seem to like it that way. I see Justin start to stroke Mikey. Pounding, stroking, moaning. Holding my own back so they won’t hear me. With a few final strokes Justin makes Mikey cum hard, which sets off his own. Hearing Justin cum is like hearing angels singing. I cum in my hand as Justin throws his head back and cums inside the condom.

“God that was amazing as always Justin” Mikey tells Justin who is laughing. “You are incredible.” 

I’m incredible to. Damn now I am acting all lesbo. I walk back to my room and a few minutes later there is a knock at the bedroom door.

 

“Ya, Come in.” I tell whoever it is. Justin opens the door and walks in. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” I ask smiling.

“I came to see if you had enough blankets and pillows.” 

“Ya, I have enough.” I tell him.

“Good, if you need more, there is some in the hall closet.” He smiles at me. “Ok, I’ll remember that.” 

“Oh and Brian, next time you throw spunk on my door, at least clean it off.” He walks out with a smile and I am sitting here with a fucking shocked look. Shit he knew I was watching. “Justin.” I call to him.

“Yes?” He turns and is smiling. “How did you know and does Mikey know?” I had to know.

“I saw you when I was pounding into Mikey. And yes he saw you, but don’t worry, he is okay. He thinks it’s funny.” 

“Funny, what is so funny about it?” I ask.

“Well because you came with us both and plus from what I have been told about you, it’s good to know that we can get you as horny as you got. You came a lot.” And with that he left me alone. Shit, I had to ask didn’t I?

For the next few days it was the same pattern. Justin and Michael fucking in the next room, with me listening to the whole thing and jerking off. What the fuck is going on with me? I get laid. I get sucked off and I sure in the hell fuck, but every time I hear them going at it, I get the biggest fucking hard on one can only imagine.

There is something about that blond bombshell that I can’t get out of my head. I can’t get my cock to stop thinking about him either. I know that there isn’t any way to get him. He is my best friend’s boyfriend. 

I learned that Justin Taylor came out when he was seventeen years old. He was staying with his best friend Daphne until he finished school. He went to his prom with her, where his lover showed up and danced one dance with him. As they were leaving, some homophobic asshole decides to put a bat to his head where he was in a coma for two weeks. When he got out, he had limited use of his right hand. Which he draws with. His motor skills weren’t as strong as they could be, but he worked his way up and is now top of his class at PIFA. He still lives with Daphne. His father stopped paying for his schooling and that’s when he decided to sell his art work for the money, which the GLC took up a fund and paid for his intuition. He got a 1500 on his SAT’s. Smart little fucker. He has a great head on his shoulder and he is finer then one could imagine.

He is also a great lover, well from the looks of him and from what I’ve seen, he is. I have to stop thinking like this. He is with Mikey. But fuck, he turns me on and he knows it to. 

Justin is a smart, young, talented and so fucking hot. He has made something of himself despite his father. He reminds me of someone. Oh shit, he reminds me of me. Despite my family I made something of myself as well. 

I just need to rest. I am going to go to sleep and not think of the blond only feet away from me. He’s Michael’s. That is what I thought I had thought of when I finally fell asleep, but my mind had other ideas instead. So I dreamt of a beautiful blond, bubble butt young man. 

I wake the next day and felt that same feeling but it hurts more. You know the one, where you wake up with a hard on the size of Texas. I know I was dreaming of that blond ass. Ya, it was him. My dick just throbbed as I said his name. I move into the bathroom and take a shower, jerking myself off before getting out and going into the kitchen. I hear someone in there clanging stuff around.

“Hey” Justin smiles at me from the stove.

“You fucking cook to?” I ask him

“Ya, it’s one of my favorite things to do. Are you hungry? I’m making plenty.” 

“Ya sure, why not. But you better not drug me.” He laughs at my words. 

“I wouldn’t drug you with something like food.” He smirks. I smirk right back at him and am about to say something more when Mikey walks in. 

“Hey sweetie. I see you are almost done with breakfast.” He looks at me making toast and smiles. “Brian Kinney, making toast. Wow, never thought you knew how.”

“Not funny Mikey, just didn’t want to then, but now it seems right with the breakfast Justin is making.” He nods his head.

“Mikey loves when I cook. Don’t you?” Justin looks at Michael and he is looking at his food.

“Mikey, earth to Mikey.” I laugh as I slap his shoulder.

“Oh what? Sorry was thinking about the store. How to get some stuff done.” But something about his story doesn’t seem right. He said it much to quickly.

“Are you okay?” Justin asks him as he moves closer to touch his forehead and Mikey jumps up. “I need to shower and get into work. You wore me out this morning that I over slept.” He smiles at Justin.

“Mikey, sit down and eat, you are the boss of the store.” Justin laughs.

“Ya I know. Ok I’ll eat.” He sits down to eat his breakfast, but yet he still seems to be in another world as we talk. He comes out of it fast and always with the excuse of something. I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong in paradise. 

*************

For two weeks I have been watching Mikey and Justin fuck. I can’t seem to stop myself from watching them. I have noticed that Mikey is acting weirder and weirder. I had a long morning. I had the meeting with Kay Jewels at noon and had the rest of the afternoon off. I come back to the apartment to hearing moaning sounds. “I can’t believe they meet here for a fucking quickie.” I smile to myself and move to the bedroom door. He is so hot, pumping his perfect cock into Mikey. They seem to know I do it, but don’t stop from doing it. It’s like they like the audience. I seem to get hard the moment I know they are fucking. Which is odd due to I am not hard right now.

I sneak up to the room and push the door open a little. Odd, they never close it this far. I leer my head inside to find Mikey getting fucked, fast and hard. 

Only problem is, it’s not Justin fucking Michael. It’s that professor, Ben.


	2. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to my beta who threatened to die if I didn't let her have this one to beta. So Tay thanks for the beta on this. Also thanks to the girls {you know who you are}. Feel free to leave feedback.  
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Brian’s POV:

I sit on the couch, listening to Mikey getting fucked by the college professor, Ben. I can’t believe Mikey would do this to Justin. I started noticing things two weeks ago when Mikey would pull away from Justin or he would seem off in another world. I’m pulled back to reality when I hear Mikey and Ben laughing and coming out of the bedroom. He looks at me and his smile disappears.

“Uh Mikey, I’ll call you later.” Ben tells him.

“Ok, sure.” Mikey tells him back.

“Aren’t you going to kiss him goodbye Mikey? After all he just fucked you. It would be rude not to.” 

Ben walks past me and looks at me. “Brian, I know this looks bad.” 

“Don’t continue that thought Ben. I’m all for fucking, but not with someone that has a loving boyfriend like Justin.” Ben nods his head and looks back at Michael before leaving.

“Don’t start with me Brian.” Michael tells me. 

“Bull-fucking shit-Mikey. I will start with you. Justin is a decent and caring and loving guy. Why the fuck would you want to fuck it up by fucking the professor. If you don’t want to be with Justin, then tell him.”

“You want me to tell him so you can have him.” I snap my head back at him.

“This isn’t about if I find him fuckable, this is about treating him right. This is about YOU Mikey, not me. But you have to tell him.” 

“I can’t. Just stay out of it.” 

“No, I won’t. Justin is a decent man, Mikey. He deserves to know the truth. And if you don’t tell him, I will.” And with that I walk into the bedroom.

“That’s not fair Brian. This has nothing to do with you.” I hear him scream before the door slams shut.

A few hours later Justin comes in with a drunk Michael. He puts him on the couch as Michael pulls him down on top of him and begins to kiss him. 

I stand by the bedroom door and watch as Michael leans his head back, letting Justin lick his neck. Justin leans down and puts his hands between them and undoes Michael’s pants. Justin looks over to me, smiling. “You are a perv.” I smirk and he pulls Mikey up and goes to the room, leaving the door open. I lean on the couch as I see Mikey being pushed back onto the bed. From the couch there is a perfect view of Mikey and Justin’s room. I watch as Justin removes all Mikey’s and his own clothes. 

I see Justin start to lick Michael’s neck and pinch his nipples. I pinch my own nipple and begin to rub the outside of my jeans. I hear Mikey moan as Justin moves down lower onto Michael’s body. I take my shirt off. I unbutton my pants as I watch Justin take Mikey’s dick into his mouth. I pull myself out and stroke my hard cock. Watching Justin.

“Oh god, Justin, fuck me.” I hear Mikey beg. Justin leans over and grabs a condom, looking back to show me that he knows I am watching and stroke the condom down his cock, and lubes himself up. He then moves Mikey around so I can get a good view of Justin plunging his cock inside of Mikey’s waiting hole.

Justin looks at me and then slams into Mikey. “Oh Holy Fuck, Justin fuck me.” Mikey screams and as I see Justin pull out and slam back in, my own dick twitched in my hand as I stroke it faster. I lean over and get my lube and lather up my hand. I watch Justin throw his head back, in the heated moment of passion and he moans. “Oh so fucking tight.” And moans could be heard from every one of us. 

I look into Mikey’s eyes as he looks at me. I know he wants me to forget what I saw and wants me to join them, but I won’t. Mikey is a friend and even thought I want to fuck Justin, I won’t do it right now. Ok, I would, with Justin’s permission.

As I see Justin pull out and look at me and down to Mikey and see him looking at me also, Justin smiles as he slams into him again, as like telling him ‘you aren’t with Brian you are with me.’ As he pushes slowly back in, Mikey looks up to him and leans his head back, arching his back. I can tell he loves the feel of Justin inside him, but then I have to shake the feelings of how good it would be inside Justin and how Mikey liked the feel of Ben inside him. 

I hear Mikey moan as Justin starts to stroke him. I also begin to stroke myself faster. All previous thoughts gone. I arch myself up into my hand, pretending is Justin’s mouth on me. I look up and see Justin, between my legs, taking all of me into his mouth while he pinches my nipples. I moan, as my balls grow tighter. I can hear Justin moaning as well. As we both reach an orgasm I look up to find Justin, not between my legs but between Mikey’s legs, both of them cumming as well. Damn, felt so real in my mind. One day I hope to feel that mouth on me.

I see Justin kissing Mikey as I get up and go to the shower. Not long after I get in I feel a chill. I turn around and find Justin in the shower with me.

“What are you doing Justin?” I look at him.

“Saving water. It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked or vice versa. Did you enjoy the show tonight?” He smirks at me.

“I always enjoy watching good sex.” I smirk right back as we begin to wash ourselves. He leans his head back to let the water run down his stomach. He looks up to me and smiles. “I’m all clean now. I think I will have a drink and do some painting. Mikey is passed out for the night. Feel free to join me if you get bored.” He climbs out and grabs a towel and walks out, shaking his ass at me. 

I close my eyes and open them again. Nope that wasn’t in my mind. He was this fucking close and I didn’t touch him.

I get out of the shower and get a drink. I try to do a few things, like watch TV or read. Anything, but nothing would take my mind off that blond. I looked in on Mikey and feel myself feeling sorry for Justin. This is really going to hurt him. I will just go in and talk to Justin, show him that even when it does go bad with him and Mikey that I am still here for him. That he can come over anytime he needs me. Or cum over anything he needs me.

I step into the door where Justin is painting to see him dancing around to some dance music and taking a break to paint. He wiggles that bubble butt as I move in. 

He swirls around and sees me and jumps. “Shit, you scared me.” 

“Sorry Sunshine. Would you like a dance partner?” I pull him in and we dance. Both of us get hard the moment we touch. “Seems like someone is getting hard.” I whisper to him.

“Yeah, well, can’t blame a body from knowing what it likes.” Justin smiles at me. I point to the picture he is working on. “You are incredible Justin.” 

“Thank you. I’ve been sketching and painting for a long time. Oh hey, I have something for you.” He goes to the closet and bring a picture back out. It’s of me and Gus.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say.” 

“Michael gave me a picture of you and Gus when he was little and I went with that. I did a sketch and a painting of it. You can have them both.” 

“Justin, these are incredible. Thank you.” I feel something coming over me. Shit is emotions.

“You are very welcome. You and Gus are great subjects. You both have great features.” 

“Thanks Justin. So tell me something about you.”

For the next hour we talk about everything from school to work to how great Emmett looks in a dress.

“So Justin, I hope we are friends now. After all, I have seen you fucking and you have seen me jerk off.” I smile at him.

“And we have showered together.” Justin smirks and we both laugh. “Justin, you are fucking crazy. I like you.” 

“I like you too. And just for the record, I don’t find you to be an asshole.” 

“Umm thanks I think.” We both start to laugh

We move out to the living room and sit down and turn the TV on. I flip through the stations and stop at a movie. I reach over and take a drink. “Justin, movie is going to start, want to watch it with me?” He nods his head and closes his sketchbook and I see what he was drawing. It was me on the couch. I just hope he is this open when Mikey breaks his heart.

We start to watch the movie and before to long Justin was lying down with his head on my lap. I looked down to find Justin sleeping. I run my fingers through his hair. “You will be ok. I will make sure. I will take care of you Sunshine. I promise.” I lean over to kiss his forehead. I lean back up and look at the TV. After a few minutes I feel him rubbing my leg. He rubs under the knee where it is ticklish and up the back of my leg. He is really close to my thigh as he grabs it and tickles it with his finger. You know the spot on the back of your thigh. 

Pretty soon we were rolling on the floor laughing, trying to tickle each other. I pinned him down under me and we were both laughing when I leaned over him and whispered “Don’t try to mess with the big boys Sunshine.” As I said that he rolled me over and laughed at me. “Well just remember that us, smaller boys, are sneaky.” 

“OK! OK! I give.” I smile at him as he leans off me. I swear, there was a few times when I thought we would kiss or something but Justin always made sure it didn’t happen. I know it has to do with Mikey. 

I just look at him and smile. One day, Justin will be with me, but in his own time and his own way.

Justin gets up and grabs a water, throwing me one as he comes back in. “I need to go pick up Michael’s car from Woody’s.” He tells me.

“I’ll go with you. We can take a cab and go pick it up. That way you aren’t diving back alone.”

“What if Mikey wakes and sees us gone. He will think something.”

Not that I would mind Mikey thinking Justin and I are out fucking. I don’t want to ruin any chance I may have in the future. “We can leave a note.” I grab a pen and write ‘Went to get your fucking car from the bar. We will be back.’ 

We head out and pay the cab as we get into Mikey’s car. “Man, it smells like a bar in here.” Justin tells me. “Yeah it does. I guess he had a lot on his mind.” I tell him back. Knowing what drove him to drinking tonight.

We drive back to the house. “Justin, I will be moving out in two days. I have a loft ready for me to move in. I want you to know you can always come there for anything. We are friends.” 

“Wow, cool, thanks Brian.” As we pull up into the driveway I put my hand on his. “I mean it Justin. If you need anything, I’m here for you.” 

“As I am for you. Now let’s get inside and get some rest. I need to get up early and make Mikey the hangover remedy that my dad was famous for making.” We both laugh at the joke as we step inside.

We say our good nights and head off to bed. Justin to sleep, and me, well to jerk off after being so close to Justin’s body.

As I think of Justin and jerk off, I look to at the door to see Justin standing there, smiling. He walks over and lowers himself on his knees and takes me into his mouth. Slipping his tongue around my cock. Sucking it into his mouth. Letting it hit the back of his mouth. He hums and sticks a finger inside me and at that moment, I shoot my load down his throat. Saying his name. 

I feel myself coming down and open my eyes not to see Justin there, I close my eyes again. “Damn it. I have to stop this shit.” I tell myself.

“Yes you should before Mikey hears that his best friend is calling out his boyfriends name while jerking off.” I snap my eyes open and look at the door to see Justin standing there, smiling at me. 

“Fuck, what did you hear?”

“Telling me to suck that cock and how it felt good and how I am a pro. You have been watching me with Mikey too much.” He breaks the ice with a laugh. 

I huff at him and close my eyes. “Look Brian, if the situation was different I could find myself with you. But I don’t cheat on my boyfriend.”

“Justin, I am not asking you to do to that. I guess my head is just acting weird because I have been here. I know I bring tricks in but being around you and Mikey, it gets hard to want anything but what he has. I know you would never cheat on Mikey with me. But in the future, if things don’t work out with you and Mikey, keep my name and address and number handy.” 

“I will do that. Just if you are going to ‘dream’ about me, do it quieter so Mikey doesn’t hear and get mad at you.” He smiles one last time and starts to walk out.

“I think I like you better with my dick in your mouth.” He laughs and walks out of the room.

 

Justin’s POV:

The next day I am making breakfast when Brian walks into the kitchen. 

“This tastes like shit.”

“Well, it will help you feel better.” I tell him looking at Brian. He shakes his head.

“Mikey, just drink it. Let Justin finish breakfast. I’ll make the toast.” Brian offers.

“Since when do you cook Brian?” Mikey snaps at Brian. 

“Since I want toast with breakfast.” Brian tells him and he goes to say something but he looks at me in the eyes and he knows to shut up.

“So what did you guys do last night after I passed out?” He asks instead.

“We talked and watched a movie.” I tell him. Leaving out the tickling scene. Don’t want Mikey jealous.

“So what is everyone doing today?” I ask them.

“Well, I am going to open the comic book store like usual and just hang out.” Mikey said. “Or I might just stay here and sleep it off.” 

“I’m just going to go do some running around.” Brian tells me. He really is a nice guy.

For the day we all just do our thing. I go to the studio and do some work and come back home to find Mikey and Brian in deep conversation. They stop as I walk in.

“Talking about me?” I ask jokingly.

“No, we are just talking about commitment and what it means.” Brian tells me.

“Ah, Mikey trying to convert you into having it with someone?” 

“Something like that.” Brian smirks at me.

“Well, I stopped and got Chinese on the way home.” I start handing out the dinner. We sit down and talk about how everyone’s day was.

That night Mikey and I were lying in the bed, talking about how important commitment is to people who are serious.

“I’m glad we are in our committed relationship, Mikey.” I kiss Mikey on the lips.

“So am I. It’s very important that we have this together. Someone to come home to and be able to talk to. Someone to take care of you, when you drink too much. Someone who can understand you inside and out. Commitment is important on so many levels.” Michael smiles at me as we snuggle together. “Justin, I mean what I said. You are important to me.” 

“So are you to me. It’s great not having to worry bout who someone is with or if they will be home that night.” I feel Mikey get closer to me. As I look down I see he has his eyes closed. I kiss him.

“I love you, Mikey.” I tell him. “I love you too, Jus.” He whispers back.

As we fall into a sleep I look at Mikey, yes I am lucky.

The next morning I wake up before Mikey and thought of the great talk we had before going to sleep. I lean over and start stroking him. He moans and smiles in his sleep. I lean over and take him in my mouth. He arches into my mouth. I love the feeling of Mikey in the morning. The smell of him. 

I lean over and get a condom and lube and start to prepare him for a wake up call he won’t soon to forget. I stick one finger in him and work my lips on his cock. He pushes up into my mouth as well as pulling my finger inside his waiting hole, so I stick another finger and then another until he is arching off the bed. I lean up and kiss him as I remove my fingers and replace them with my dick. I push into him slowly. I reach between us to stroke his dick as my dick pushes slowly inside him.

Once our bodies have adjusted I start to pound into him. Moving my hips in circles. Making him feel every fucking inch of me. 

“Oh god, close.” He whispers so I pick up speed and when I feel his ass muscles clutch my dick, I pump his cock faster, as we both reach our climax I say his name. 

But what I wasn’t expecting was my boyfriend calling out someone else’s name. 

“Oh fuck me, Oh god BEN.” Mikey screams out.


	3. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to my beta TC and thx to my friends.

* * *

Justin POV:

It takes a minute to register what Michael just yelled. He yelled Ben’s name as he was cumming, not mine. I pull back to look in his face and he has his eyes closed. I get off him and go into the bathroom to clean up. 

“Justin, you ok?” Michael asks through the closed door.

I open the door and come out, sit on the bed and look out the window. 

“Justin, what’s wrong?” He asks as he gets a washcloth to clean himself off.

“After everything we talked about last night about commitment and how important it is to us both, you lied through your teeth.” I am trying to stay calm but the anger is winning as I stand up and move away from him. “All this time I trusted you.”

“Justin, what are you talking bout?” Mikey looks at me confused.

“Whose name did you scream out when you came?” I look at him in the eye.

“Yours of course.” I loose the battle as I let loose on him.

“FUCKING bullshit Michael! You yelled BEN’S name out. Not mine. All the bullshit you talked about last night was nothing but lies. How long Michael? How long have you been fucking Ben?” I shout at him, not caring that Brian is in the other room.

The look on his face tells me everything. “Justin, let me explain.” He begins but I put my hand up to stop him. 

“No, you have been lying to me. You have been cheating on me with Ben. I want to know for how long.” 

He bows his head. “Ben and I have been seeing each other for six weeks. Right after he started tutoring.” I look him in the face.

“That fucking long you have been playing me for a fucking fool. Why didn’t you tell me Michael? You could have ended it with me.”

“No, I love you, but I love him to.” I can’t believe my ears.

“FUCK YOU MICHAEL! You led me on and you led him on. Ben knew about us. He is a friend of the group. Shit! I am such a fucking idiot.” I grab my jacket and head towards to the door. Michael grabs my arm and I look at him. “Michael, let me go or I will hit you. I am so fucking pissed right now I don’t want to hit you.” I stare at him for a minute.

“Justin, you can’t just walk out, we have to talk about this.” Michael is begging.

“Fuck you Michael. I can do what I feel and if I sty here any longer I will do or say something I will regret later.” I pull away but he grabs my arm. “I warned you Michael.” As my other arm came up to smack him on the jaw and I see Michael fall to the floor. “I told you to just leave me alone. I will get my stuff later.” I walk out leaving a stunned Michael looking at the closed door.

 

Michael's POV:

I stand there stunned that Justin has just hit me and walked out. I don’t remember calling out Ben’s name but I must have. Otherwise Justin wouldn’t have been so pissed. He’s right, I should have told him, but I loved him. I love Ben too, but in two totally different ways. I look up at Brian as he comes out of his room. 

“Don’t say a fucking thing Brian.” I look at him and sit down. Brian comes over and sits next to me. 

“Mikey, I tried to warn you to tell him. But it came out in the most horrible way. During sex.” Brian isn’t helping the situation.

“Shut up Brian. This really doesn’t concern you.” I see him smile at me. 

“Mikey, you don’t know the first thing about commitment. I may not do them, but I do know better then to say one thing and have my actions speak another. I have always said, actions speak louder than words. And in this case, I think Justin’s actions are recommendable. He has every right to be pissed.” I can’t believe my best friend is taking Justin’s side.

“Brian, you are my best friend.” I begin to say.

“Yes I am your best friend and as your best friend, I warned you about this. I also told you if you didn’t tell him soon I would. You did tell him in your own way, by shouting the other man’s name while having an orgasm. I didn’t want anyone hurt in this and it might seem like I am taking his side, but in this case Mikey, what you did was wrong and I’m not taking sides. I’m just saying I understand why Justin did what he did.” 

“I know. When you threatened to tell him you were just being your truthful self. It’s the way you are. Always telling the truth.” 

“Yes Mikey and there is a reason for that. It’s because a lie will come back and hit you in the ass. And I say it’s not a lie if they make you but in this case, Justin didn’t make you lie.” He tells me before standing up.

“Brian, can I be alone for awhile?” He nods his head and leans down, kissing me as he grabs his jacket. 

 

Brian’s POV:

I leave Mikey to wallow in his sorrow. I go to find Justin and I know right where to find him. I head in the direction of his studio. As I pull up, I see his car parked in one of the spaces. I park next to his and go inside. I find him with the music up and his hand moving on the paper. 

I turn the radio down and he closes his eyes. “How did you know I would be here?” He asks me.

“You told me a few times that when your world seems to be falling about or going out of your control or you are upset, this is where you come to, to get yourself back in control.”

He looks up at me and smiles. “You do pay attention to when someone is talking to you.” He wipes his tears and I can’t stop myself. I pull him into me and let him sob in my arms. When the sobs subside he pulls away. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers as he looks into my eyes. “You knew didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I told Mikey he needed to be the one to tell you. It wouldn’t be good news either way but I just think that Mikey needed to tell you because it was his doing.” He nods his head in understanding. “Why don’t we go back to my new loft? We can check it out.” 

“Ok, sounds good. Brian thanks for being a friend.” I just nod my head thinking to myself, I hope it will be more Sunshine.

We take my jeep because Justin wasn’t really in the mood to drive. We get back to the loft and walk up the stairs. “Nice place, at least the halls are clean.” Justin jokes. 

I open the door and we walk in. “Wow, already furnished.” He looks around and sees the pictures he did for me on the wall. “I’m honored to be hanging on your wall.” 

“Well, it’s an honor to have you on my wall.” or anywhere else in the loft.

“You want a drink?” I ask him as I get us a few waters. We sit down and Justin looks around again. “Something wrong?” I ask him.

“No, this place is nice. I will have to look into a place like this.”

“You are moving out so soon?” 

“Well, I can’t stay with him knowing what he did.” He looks away from me.

“You can stay here until you find a place.” I offer.

“Michael would be pissed.” He tells me quietly.

“I will deal with Mikey. You are a friend too.” 

“Yeah, we even showered together.” He tells me, laughing now.

“Yeah and it was so hard to keep my hands to myself.” I blurt out.

“Well, if I knew then what I do now, I wouldn’t have cared.” He looks at me. “Brian, I am attracted to you and I can tell you are to me. I need to ask you for a favor and I know that it’s not right to ask you this with you being Mikey’s best friend but...” That’s as far as I let him get, I leaned over and placed my lips onto him and it was like getting struck by lightning. 

I move my hands up his body and take his cheeks in my hands. Running my fingers down his cheek, I kiss his neck. I whisper into his ear. “I have wanted you the moment I saw you.” 

He moans and leans his lips back to mine and it was just like I thought. So soft and warm. I pull him in closer to me and we both moan. He reaches over to me and pulls my neck even closer then we were. 

He reaches down and gets his hand inside my shirt running his hands up and down. I do the same to him. Feeling his skin he pulls away and pulls my shirt off. I follow suit and take his off. We tear at each other’s clothes until we are both naked 

“Are you sure you want to do this Brian? I mean you are Mikey’s best friend.” Justin asks me.

“I’m sure Justin. I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I want you. I want to feel every last part of you. Are you sure you want to do this?” I have to ask him.

“I’m sure. I mean we should try out that new bed of yours and make sure its sturdy.” 

“I like your thinking Sunshine.” After that, no talking was done, but lots of moans as I pushed him down on the bed.

I lean over him and first lick his neck. I move down towards his nipples and pinch one with my teeth. “I have been wanting to do that for so long, as well as all that is to come.” I tell him in a seductive voice.

I kiss my way down and kiss him right at the edge of his pubes. “Oh god, Brian, please.” He begs me right before I take him into my mouth. I swallow his dick. Sucking him fast and stroking him at the same time. I wet my finger and slide into his waiting puckered hole. I love the feel of him pulling my finger inside him. Shortly after, I have three fingers plunging into his hole.

He is arching into my fingers. “You don’t bottom often do you Sunshine?” I can feel how tight he is.

“No, but god don’t stop.” He pushes up into me again. I pull my fingers out and turn him around. I start to kiss my way down his back. Stopping at his crack, I blow into the crack and he moans. I separate the cheeks and plunge my face into him. God, he smells good. I lick the outside of his hole and plunge my tongue inside him. I stroke him at the same time as I tongue fuck him.

I can tell he is close. “Brian, stop or I’m going to cum.” He tells me. I speed my tongue up and stroke him faster, letting him know without words that I want him to. When he got closer and was about to shoot his load I pulled my tongue out of his hole and took his dick in my mouth slamming my finger into his waiting hole. With one final finger thrust, he cums into my mouth. 

I lean up and kiss him. “You taste good.” He smiles and rolls me over and goes down and takes me into his mouth. “Damn this is better then the daydreams.” I tell him. He works his magic on my cock as he uses his fingers to pinch and probe and I swear that I am in heaven, because there isn’t any other word for the blond between my legs. He is an angel. 

As he leans up, he grabs the lube and condom. He puts the condom on me and leans up over me and begins to prepare himself. I swear there isn’t a sexier thing in this world. He lowers himself onto my cock and begins to move up and down. 

I place my hands on his hips and help him and guide him. He has his head thrown back and his mouth is slightly open.

I roll him over and plunge myself into him. We move as one. Trying to keep with the pace of the other, we soon find ourselves in a heated kiss. I stroke his dick between us as we get closer to our orgasms. 

We both started to cum. I feel his pucker squeezing my cock and I lost it as I screamed Justin’s name and he came screaming mine. There was never a better sound to my ears as Justin screaming my name.

“Damn Sunshine. You are amazing.” I say in between breaths. 

“So were you.” He tells me smiling.

We lay down by each other and once we catch our breaths. “Justin I mean it, you can stay here.” 

“Thanks Brian.” He kisses me again.

“You know you sound extremely sexy when you scream my name.” He smirks at me as I bite his ear.

“Just like you do, screaming mine.” I slap his ass and we both laugh. 

As we begin to kiss my cell phone rings. 

“Yeah.” I answer.

“Brian, I am sorry I kicked you out earlier. I just needed to think. You can come back anytime.” He replies.

“Mikey, I am in my new loft. I think I will just stay here.” 

“Brian, I need you.” He whines. 

“Mikey, you need to call Ben and work it out on that end.”

“I know. I tried to call Justin but he didn’t answer his phone. I don’t know where to find him. I’m worried about him.” 

“I’m sure he is okay. He’s a big boy.” I smile as I look down at Justin’s crotch.

“I know but I want to talk to him.”

“Well, that would be up to Justin. I gotta go Mikey. Bye.” I hang up the phone and look at Justin.

“Mikey was the one who called during our sex. How ironic.” We both start to laugh. 

Just then Justin’s cell phone rings and he picks it up. 

“Hello? No, I won’t come back. Michael, it’s over. It doesn’t matter where I am. Fine, let’s just say I am where you always wanted to be.” It’s all he says before hanging up.

“Justin, did you have to put that part in?” 

“Well, I don’t care. I just want to lock myself away from the world for the weekend.” He said laying his head back down on me.

“Then why don’t we just stay here for the weekend?” I answer him. 

“Are you serious? I just want to be closed off to the world.” Justin looks up at me. “And being locked away with you is even better.” He kisses me to prove his point.

We kiss again and it didn’t take long for us both to be panting from him driving his cock into my ass. I have wanted him to do this after seeing how he was with Mikey. My thoughts were right. He’s a fucking machine and is incredible.

I look up to his face and pull him down for an earth-shattering kiss. He plunges into me a few more times, pinching my nipple and strokes me a few times and we are both cumming with earth shattering screams of the other’s name on our lips. 

For the rest of the weekend, we stay in and order out. We make out a few more hundred times. We left the cell phones on just in case we got an emergency call and always looked at the I.D. before putting it down.

Sunday evening there was a knock on my door. I open it to find Mikey standing there. “It took me forever to figure out which one was yours.” He walks in and sees Justin on the couch.

“I knew you were here.” He tells Justin.

“Took you long enough.” Justin is still pissed at Michael but he has a right.

Mikey turns to me. “How could you do this?” He asks me.

“It was consensual and look at him. He’s incredible.” I tell him.

“No, Michael, don’t go getting pissed at Brian. I am a free person and can fuck or be fucked by anyone I want to be with. And Brian is a free person.” He smiles at me. “And hell, look at him. He is what you always wanted to be with. I understand why now.”

“Justin, don’t fucking do this. Come home we can talk about this.”

“NO, Michael! We are over and due to that, I don’t have to answer to you on who I am having sex with.”

“Did you do this to hurt me?” He looks back and forth between us.

“No.” I tell him.

“I thought about it, but no that it’s not the reason. I did it because I like him. He’s a nice guy.” Justin tells him. I nod in his direction with a little smile.

“Let me guess, you are going to move in with Brian.”

“For the time being, yes. Not that it’s any of your business, but he offered me to stay here until I can get my own place and it beats a hotel.” Justin tells him. “Look Mikey, I loved you and you hurt me. We were in this relationship for two years. You cheated on me with Ben for six weeks. I am entitled to have my share of whatever this is with Brian. “He looks at me and smiles. “And to tell the truth, it’s looking good.”

“Wait, you said to fuck whoever you wanted. Does this mean you fucked Brian?” He looks from Justin to me and I just smile. “Oh my god. Two tops, bottoming for each other.” 

“Mikey look, I am hoping we can at least stay friends, but right now I am too pissed off and I don’t want to say anymore that I might regret later.” Justin looks like he wants to cry and goes into the bedroom.

“How could you do this? Now he will never come back to me.” Mikey whines.

“Mikey, I’m pretty sure that he wouldn’t have come back to you anyway. I didn’t do this to hurt you but I like Justin. And if you messed it up with him then why can’t I give it a try?”

“Are you saying you want to try to have a relationship with my boyfriend?” 

“No, I want to try to have a relationship with Justin. He isn’t your boyfriend anymore.”

“Fine, do what you want, you always do.” He walks out and slams the door. I walk into the bedroom to find Justin lying on the bed.

“I’m sorry Brian.” 

“What for? You didn’t do anything. I’m here if you want me, or need me.” I tell him as I lay down with him. He moves into my arms. 

“Thanks Brian, for everything.” He whispers.

“Anytime Sunshine.” I hold him and just hope that Justin will come to see I’m true to my word and I would be true to him.


	4. To Tell the Truth

I thought I would add another chapter today since you all liked the last one. I am waiting on part 5 and 6 from my beta and as soon as I get them back I will post them as well as on my QAK story. Thx to my beta and my friends. Please leave feedback if you want.

* * *

Justin’s POV:

I wake up the next morning and smell coffee in the air. I turn over to find Brian sitting next to me, working on a cup of coffee.

“Morning Sunshine.” He tells me without looking up. 

“Hey Brian.” I stretch and yawn. “What time is it and why didn’t you wake me?” I ask him. He looks at me and puts his cup down, moving over to the bed he hands me a picture. I look at it and it’s a picture of me sleeping.

“What is this?” I ask him.

“I wanted to have a picture to show you and remind you of how relaxed and peaceful you looked when I took this.” He smiles at me.

“I am so sorry for Mikey. I know that I shouldn’t have come here. Now your best friend is pissed.” 

“Justin, I care about you. Mikey is a big boy who fucked up with you. You are just as much my friend as he is. I choose you to be here. I asked YOU Justin. I know that we are going to have a long road ahead of us and I’m not asking for a commitment, just that you don’t totally shut the door on me yet.” I kiss his forehead and get up. “Now let’s get up and dressed, we have guests coming over.”

“Who is coming over and wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t here?” I ask him.

“Fuck no, I want you here and if they don’t like it then they can leave.” He leans in and kisses me. “I want you around for a long time.” He whispers into my ear.

I smile at him but still feel a bit odd about everyone coming over here. I don’t want to cause trouble for Brian. 

“You aren’t causing trouble, or problems, so stop thinking that.” Damn, how did he know that is what I was thinking?

“How did you know?” I ask him.

“I can read your mind Sunshine. It’s part of my super hero powers. Besides, your eyes tell me what you are thinking and feeling.” He looks into my eyes and I can se just what he meant by that because his eyes tell so much too.

“Ok, if you say it will be ok.” I walk towards the bathroom but can’t shake the feeling that hell will be brought up once Deb and the gang arrives.

An hour later I am sitting on the couch when Brian sits next to me and pulls me into a hug. “It will be ok Sunshine. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“I know, but to have the ex here and the current boyfriend he cheated on the ex with and the fact that I’m the ex, people aren’t going to like me being here anymore.”

“Justin, they are your friends too, not just Mikey’s. You might have met them through him, but you kept them as a friend because they like you.” He kisses the side of my mouth. “Just relax.” I nod and then there is a knock on the door. I tense up. 

“Just think about what I will do to you once they are gone.” He smirks at me. I blush at the thought. “There is that smile I love.” Brian tells me as he moves towards the door.

Sliding the door open the gang makes their way into the loft. They are carrying presents and set them down. “I thought I told you guys, no presents.” Brian sneers at them but smiles. 

“Hey Baby.” Emmett spots me and walks over and hugs me. 

“Hey Justin, the gang calls to me.” I wave to them in response. Okay, maybe they are okay with the breakup. 

“Where’s Michael sweetie?” Deb asks me.

“He hasn’t made it yet. I’m not sure he is coming.” Brian tells them. 

“What do you mean?” And at that moment Michael walks in with Ben.

“Hey baby. Hey Ben. Now I see why you are late. Getting tutored some tonight?” Deb asks him.

“Ugh yeah.” Michael looks at me and I shrug. 

“For those of you who haven’t met him, this is Ben. Michael’s tutor.” Deb announces. 

“Deb, we all know the mighty professor.” Emmett chimes in.

“Well let’s get this party started.” Vic tells us all.

Michael came over to me and leaned against the wall. “You didn’t tell anyone?” He looks at me.

“No, I didn’t. It’s not my place.” I tell him. 

“Bullshit, you live here now so it is your place.” He snaps at me. I don’t understand why he is mad at me. I mean he is the one who fucking cheated on me. 

“Michael, let’s not get into it here. It’s Brian’s birthday.” I reply not looking at him.

‘Why, don’t want to fight with your new boyfriend around?” He pushes me with his arm.

“Brian isn’t my boyfriend. But I guess Ben is yours? Forget this. I am not going to sit here and take this. I won’t ruin Brian’s party.” I go to walk away and Michael grabs my arm and turns me around.

“Justin, look, we both know that from the moment you met Brian you have wanted him. You would have cheated on me eventually.” 

“Bullshit.” I say a little too loudly. I look around and see no one looking at us. “Bullshit. I loved you and I was very content with you. Besides, you can’t use Brian as an excuse when you have been fucking Ben before Brian even showed up. So take your pitiful fucking lie somewhere else Michael. I don’t fucking want to hear it.” I turn away and walk into the bedroom.

 

BRIAN’S POV:

I look around and see Michael talking with Ben. This hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. I look around but can’t find Justin. 

“Excuse me for a few seconds, boys.” I walk over to Michael. “Where’s Justin?” I ask him.

“Hell if I know where your boyfriend is. How should I know?” What the fuck? I will deal with him after I find Justin.

“Hey Em, have you seen Justin lately?” I lean into him knowing Em seems to know it all.

“Yeah, he’s in your room.” I nod my head and go into the room.

I see Justin lying on the bed and see his eyes shut and tears on his cheek. 

“I knew it was a bad idea for me to stay here.” Justin tells me without opening his eyes.

“How did you know it was me?” I ask him moving towards the bed.

“I know your walk.” He said with a smile.

“What happened?” I asked him as I lay next to him.

“Nothing.” Justin closes his eyes again.

“Bullshit. What did Mikey say?” And I know he said something from how Justin was acting.

“Just that it was my fault he cheated on me with Ben because I would have cheated on him eventually and that I wanted you the moment I saw you. Even though he was cheated with Ben weeks before you came into the picture.” Justin wiped his tears away. 

“Son of a bitch.” I say getting up. “Well, we will deal with him after the gang leaves. Fuck that. It will be handled now.” I yell into the room.

“Brian, not with everyone here. They have no idea we broke up. Michael didn’t tell them” 

“Justin, are you okay?” I ask him because I know he truly loved Michael.

“Let’s just get through the party.” He whispers, getting up and cleaning his face off. He hugs me and I kiss his lips. “Anything you want Sunshine.” As we walk back out into the room Deb sees us at the top of the stairs and looks at us right before I take my arm off him.

“What the fuck?! Brian Ayden Kinney. You are the lowest person, no Justin you are.” Deb yells right at us. “You both are.”

“Deb.” Is all Justin could say before looking in Michael’s direction.

“Deb, don’t go getting your titties in a bunch. You don’t know the story.” I tell him.

“I know that you are coming out of the bedroom with your arm around MY son’s boyfriend after having kissed him. You can’t stop yourself from fucking your best friend’s boyfriend?” Deb looks to Justin. “And you, how could you do this to Michael?” She asks him.

The whole gang stared at us and Justin was becoming more upset. Michael is just standing there with a shit ass grin on his face. 

“Hold the fuck up. Stop fucking tearing into Justin about his and Michael’s problems. For your fucking information it’s not Justin who you should be mad and screaming at.” 

And Deb chimes in. “You are right, you should have been able to control yourself Brian.” 

“Deb, listen to me, are you listening. Justin didn’t cheat on Michael. Justin was a free man when I fucked him. And before you ask no it wasn’t my fault. It was your precious son’s fault. He’s been fucking the professor for months now. I caught them and made Mikey tell Justin the truth. He came to me because he trusts me and yes, there is an attraction, but I have my limits on who I fuck, and one of those limits is you don’t fuck your best friends current boyfriend and at this time, Justin isn’t Michael’s anything.” I yell at all them. I won’t let them gang up on Justin for Mikey’s mistake.

Everyone looked at Michael and then to Ben. “Is this true Michael?” He nods his head.

“But Justin would have cheated on me eventually with Brian. It was only a matter of time.” Michael tells everyone.

“That’s so fucking bullshit Michael and you know it. You were with Ben long before Brian came back into the picture.” Justin replies.

“Yeah, well, I guess I was just preparing for when you did cheat on me, after all, Brian would have gotten you to do it. You two are perfect for each other. Brian is the biggest slut I know and well you are what every slut wants, an easy lay.” Everyone gasps and before I could grab hold of him, Justin rushes over and kicks Michael square in his balls. Making Mikey fall to the floor. 

 

Ben goes to grab Justin and I get in front of him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you Ben. Mikey deserved that. Not for what he said about me but what he said about Justin.” Ben is just as big as me, but I was ready to fight him if he laid a hand on Justin.

“I fucking loved you Michael. You are trying to make me the bad guy here when it is you who fucking cheated on me. They may be your family and friends, and they will probably take your side, but I know I was in the right to leave your ass. I would have even looked past if it happened once, but months Mikey, months you were with him. Yes, I have been with Brian, but Brian isn’t promising me anything so I am not expecting anything. But one thing is for sure, he respects me enough to tell me he fucks other men and I don’t care because after what you did to me, it will be hard to fucking trust anyone fully again. I will however, go on without you and live my life and be the best I can be, but it won’t be for you, but for me.” He looks to me smiling through his tears. “And for Brian because he has showed me that I can go on for myself and he has shown me and as Emmett said, that DA MAN can’t keep a fag down. And what I do with Brian or any other man is none of your fucking business anymore Michael.” He finishes and goes into the room.   
Michael gets up and leans on Ben and then starts to walk towards the bedroom. I grab his arm and shake my head. Ben moves between us and takes a step forward.

“Ben.” Mikey said 

“I won’t hurt him when he’s down but if he ever said anything like that about Justin again, it won’t be just in your balls where I’ll kick you. And Ben, don’t get mixed up in this. Well, don’t get any MORE mixed up in this. You may be big and fucking built like a ford truck but I won’t let anyone run over Justin anymore.” I tell them all as I look around.

“Ben, Brian is right. If you even think about touching that boy I will have your balls to my wall after I cut them off.” Deb chimes in. “And Michael Andrew Novotny, how could you do this to our little Sunshine? That boy loved you.” 

“Ma, he would have…” But Deb didn’t let him finish before she slapped him upside his head. 

“Don’t give me that fucking line. That’s just an excuse. And Ben, how could you do this as well? I had more respect for you then this. And then you come here to rub it in his face.” She sneers.

“No ma’am. Justin is with Brian now.” She turns to look at me and turns around back to them “Only because Michael hurt him. And he said he isn’t with Brian as in a relationship. I just hope Brian doesn’t hurt him as much as you have.”

“I don’t plan on it Deb. I care very deeply for him.” I tell her never taking my eyes off Michael.

“I can tell. He’s a good kid Brian.”

“Look, tell him that regardless of what my son did, you tell that boy he is still family to all of us.” Deb swings her arms around the group. “Yes we are.” Emmett said and the rest agreed.

“Ok, guys and girls, I am going to go check on Justin, be gone when we come out. I don’t want him to be put through any more.” I tell them before moving into the bedroom.

 

JUSTIN’S POV: 

Brian makes his way over to where I am sitting on the window seal. I heard some of what was said and I am shocked to hear everyone leave so soon. Brian sits down behind me and pulls me into him. I slide back into him without fighting.

“Justin?” We look over to the door to see Deb standing there.

I close my eyes, waiting for more of her wrath. She moves over and lifts my chin up, smiling down at me.

“Justin, what Michael did to you was shit. I…we didn’t know about it or I would have ripped him a new one as well as Ben. I told Brian to tell you that regardless of Michael’s actions, you are part of this family. Do I make myself clear?” I nod my head. 

“We love you sweetheart. And Brian, you take care of him. I love you both.” She kisses us both and walks out.

“She’s right, you are family. I won’t let you out of it and neither will the wild pack that just left.” Brian kisses my head.

“All but Mikey and Ben.” 

“Well right now, everyone is mad at them, not you.” He tells me and I sigh.

“Thanks Brian, for everything. Sorry for causing a scene by kicking Mikey. ” I tell him. 

“Yeah, well remind me not to piss you off. I value my balls. They are precious jewels. Even though that was the reddest I have ever seen Mikey’s face.” And we both start laughing as he pulls me tighter and I lean in willing. Everything will be okay. It has to be.

The next few days went by quickly since Brian and I locked ourselves from the world Deb and everyone called to check on us and then it was just us. I can’t believe that I did that to Mikey and that it’s the same person I fell in love with. He talked so bad about Brian and me and I don’t know what came over me. And the funny part is that Mikey has been in love with Brian for a long time. Why would he say stuff like that about his best friend? Was he jealous of Brian, or me? Brian because he is helping me, or me because now I am in a sort-kinda weird relationship with Brian. Which he has wanted all his life.

“Justin, stop fucking thinking so much.” Brian told me.

“Sorry. I just…” He didn’t let me finish my thought. He pulled me into a long lingering kiss that shook me to the core.

He pulled away from my lips and puts his forehead to mine. He looks into my eyes. “Justin.” It was like a pleading. “Justin.” He repeats again as he runs his hand all over me. “I want you.”

“Brian, are you sure?” I ask him.

“Yes, I need you to…to feel you.” I smile at him before lying him down. Kissing his mouth before making a trial down his neck. I slowly undress him as he watches me. Never taking his eyes off me. We are both naked and I climb over him, grinning.

“Oh shit, Sunshine. I know that smirk.” He tells me before I lean over and took him into my mouth with one long slurp. 

I slowly move my mouth up and down his dick. Looking up I see him still watching me. He looks into my eyes and runs a hand through my hair. I begin to work my magic on his cock. He moans as he pulls my hair, letting me know I am pleasing him. 

It’s not long before he is arching into my mouth, moaning my name. 

He pulls me up and I look at him with questioning eyes. I see the pleading look in his eyes as I reach for a condom and lube. I prepare him as I kiss every other part of his body. He eagerly spreads his legs as I position myself between his legs. My cock waiting at his entrance. 

“Justin, please.” He pleads with me. As I slowly push myself into him he opens his eyes. “Fuuucckkk!” He lets out. I stop to make sure he is okay, since Brian doesn’t bottom very often. He looks at me and grins. “Don’t you fucking stop. It feels fucking good.” I lean over and kiss him as I move in and out of him.

We move together, becoming one with each other. He looks up at me again, smiling. “I never thought the Sunshine would be so fucking beautiful.” And that was all he said before we got lost in each other. Before to long we both reach our orgasms. Me stroking Brian with my own thrusts. Pinching his nipples with my fingers. We come together, at the same time.

“Damn Justin, I have been wanting you to do that to me since I saw you do it to Mikey. You are so fucking incredible. I finally met my match.” He tells me as I roll off him. Both of us moan at the feeling of separation. 

“I think my ass has separation anxiety disorder. It doesn’t like being apart from your dick.” I smile at him. 

“I know what you mean. It’s how my ass feels about you as well.” 

“Come here Sunshine.” I move over and lay with him. He pulls me into him and kisses my forehead as we both close our eyes.

He runs his hand through my hair and I moan, he kisses my forehead once more, thinking I am asleep he whispers into my ear. “I am falling hard and fast for you. I don’t want to scare you, but I am already in love with you and I have never said that anyone. I will take care of you and promise not to hurt you. Thanks for making love to me.” He kisses me again and goes to sleep. 

I lift my head and smile at him, but at the same time, it fucking scares me. I put my head down and lose my eyes, thinking of what Brian said to me and how I feel about it.


	5. To Tell the Truth

Thx to the beta and to all the girls for helping me on this.Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

Brian’s POV

As I wake up to the beaming Sunshine above me I can’t help but smile.

“Morning, Brian.” Justin beams and kisses me.

“Morning, Sunshine.” I smile back as I pull him down onto me.

“You’re so warm.” He rubs his forehead on my neck.

“Make that hot and horny.” I whisper to him as he lifts up. Smiling, he moves down taking my dick into his warm mouth.

“Oh fuck, talk about fucking hot. Your mouth is on fire.” I moan out.

“Justin, wait until you feel my ass.” I look down at him smiling. He pulls away and smiles back at me before engulfing my cock once more.

He has such a talented mouth. Mikey’s an idiot. Justin is every queer’s wet dream. But now he is MY reality. He leans up, getting a condom and the lube. Looking down at me he smiles that fucking evil smile. I melt into the bed. “You ready for your dick, up my ass?” 

“No.” I tell him and he looks at me in shock.

“Brian?”

“Because I want to feel YOUR dick up my ass. I want YOU to make love to me.” I tell him and my reward is his Sunshine smile.

He prepares me with his tongue and lube after that. He places his dick at my entrance. He pushes himself in. It feels so fucking good, like his dick is the key to my buried treasure.

“Oh fuck, Justin. “ I repeat over and over, like a broken record.

“Mmm, so tight Brian.” He slams into me and I know I won’t last much longer.

I feel Justin reaching his orgasm as he reaches down between us and starts stroking my hard cock. We both shoot our load at the same time.

Justin licks his fingers clean of my cum. “I love the taste of you.”

He pulls out and removes the condom, but before he throws it away, I take it from him. Opening it, I put it to my mouth, letting his spunk smooth my throat. “And I love the taste of you.” He smiles as he leans in, kissing me.

“So what are you going to do today.” I ask him.

“I need to get the rest of my stuff from Michael’s.” 

“Want me to go with you?” 

“No, Mikey is still your best friend. Let’s not rub this in his face.” 

“Like he did with Ben to you?” He looks at me and nods.

“But Brian, I still loved him. He hurt me bad, but it doesn’t mean I have to go down to his level and rub us in his face or hurt him. I’m better then that.” I respect him for that.

“You’re a better man than I am.” I tell him, kissing his neck. “Are you sure?”

“Bri, please. I don’t want to make things worse with you and Michael.”

“Justin, you aren’t. HE has a new boyfriend. He can’t dictate who you or I see, even if it’s his best friend. He will have to deal with me being in love with his ex.” 

“I know, but let’s take this slow. I have feelings I need to sort out. I want to give us the best try but I need to be over Michael or at least be out of his place and here before we make it official with us.” I nod my head at him in understanding.

“I understand, just do what you need to do. I love you enough to step back and let you do this at your pace.” 

“I love you too, or at least starting to. I just don’t want there to be any trouble with anyone thinking I left him for you.”

“They know he cheated on you Justin and they are as pissed as you are. Justin, know I’ll be here when you get back and I’ll be here when you are ready.”

“I will.” He smiles, kissing me softly before walking out. 

*****************************  
Justin’s POV

I walk up to Michael’s apartment and I can’t help but feel a bit sad. This used to be home. I was happy here. I walk into the building and get my key out. ‘I will have to leave this behind or give it back’ I think to myself.

After knocking a few times I open the door to find it empty. Good, no one is home. I just want to get my stuff and get out.

I make my way to the bedroom, grabbing a bag. I start to throw things in. I pick up one of Michael’s shirts. I put it to my face and smell in the scent I came to know so well in the time we were together. I feel the tears welling up and I think this is harder then I thought it would be.

“It doesn’t have to end this way. You still love me.” I turn to find Michael, standing by the door. “You still love me?” He asks again. “Don’t you?”

“I always will.” I tell him, putting his shirt down.

“Justin.” He slowly walks towards me.

“Don’t Michael. You made your choice.” He smiles at me and reaches out to rub his hand down my face. Instincts made me lean into his touch. I close my eyes.

“Why Mikey? Why did you do it? I thought we were happy.” I wipe a tear away.

“We were. I fucked up.” I look at him.

“Jus.” He leans in, kissing me. The lips that I came to love to kiss, were now kissing me again and without thinking, and having the familiar touch again, I kiss him back. He pulls me into him, putting his hand up my shirt, rubbing my chest. We both moan.

“Justin.” He whispers. I put him onto the bed, kissing him again. I close my eyes, maybe my way to his open shirt. Michael runs his fingers through my hair.

I pull away suddenly remembering why I was there. I look down at him. 

“Do you love me?” 

“Yes.” He moans out, running his hand down my cheek.

“Do you love him?” His hand stops and he’s quiet. I know my answer already before I hear his response in a low voice. “Yes.” 

I get up, fixing my shirt. “Justin, please. I know what I did and said some things I shouldn’t have. But can’t we work something out? We can work this out.”

“Michael, you cheated on me for weeks. Not a day, not a week but for fucking weeks. You say you love us both. I deserve better then having just one half of your heart.” 

I grab my bags putting the key on the table. 

“Justin, if you walk out that door, it’s over. No more chances.” 

“We’ve been over.” I tell him without looking back at him as I leave the apartment.

I can hear him yelling for me. He runs out to catch me. “Justin, you can’t be mad at me for loving him. You love Brian.”

I turn around to face him. “I would never be falling for him if YOU didn’t cheat on me. The way I feel about Brian is still a work in progress. And for the record, I would have never left you for him because I fucking loved you. But all bets are off and I can do what I want and see who I want.” 

“And you want him?”

“Now, yes. He makes me laugh. He treats me good and he loves me. It will take awhile to fully let him have all of me, the way I did with you, but I am willing to try.”

“He isn’t the settling type Justin. He doesn’t do love, or boyfriends or relationships.” Michael yells at me.

“No, Michael he doesn’t, with you. But with me, he does. He feels different about me and I am slowly letting him in and giving him my heart.” 

“Justin, he’s a slut.” I feel my blood start to boil.

“No, Mikey, YOU are. Brian has NEVER promised me anything. But you fucking did. You decided to spread your legs and cheat on me, you are the slut. And don’t talk about Brian like that. Did you stop to think that maybe he changed while he was gone?”

“No.” He replies quietly.

“Yeah, well, obviously he has and I love him in a different way than you. I actually trusted you. It’s easy for you to blame me, or Brian but this is on your fucking shoulders. It’s your fault we aren’t still together.”

I get in my car as he leans in my window, grabbing my neck and kissing me. I push him away as I start the car. “Good bye, Michael.” I pull away, leaving Michael and part of my heart behind as well. I really did love him. But I can’t be with a man I can’t trust.

 

BRIAN’S POV:

I hang up my phone as I just finished talking on the phone with Justin. He was letting me know he was on his way back. Not two minutes of hanging up, my cell rings again. Thinking is Justin again I don’t bother to look at the I.D.

“What did you forget Sunshine?” I lean on the couch smiling.

“I want you to let him go. How will he come back to me?” Mikey screams into the phone.

“Fuck you, Mikey. You have the professor and I have Justin. And even if he wasn’t with me, Justin is his own man and it is his choice where he chooses to be. And I really don’t think he would be going back to you.”

“He kissed me Brian. He loves ME!” I close my eye when he continues. “He pushed me down on the bed and kissed me, kissed my chest. He isn’t over me and I know he can’t love you like that.”

“Mikey, at this moment, he loves you in a sad way, but I know he is getting over you. He fucked me before he went over to your place. And ask yourself why he doesn’t love you anymore or why he is getting over you and moving on or why he stopped?”

“That’s not a concern. We can work our problems if it wasn’t for you.” 

“Bullshit Mikey, why the fuck did he stop kissing you?” I ask more demanding.

“None of your business. Probably because he thought he would be cheating on you. He took my fucking shirt. He wanted it. He asked me for it. He will never be yours fully Brian, especially since he still wants and loves me.” He tells me before hanging up.

Fifteen minutes later Justin walks through the door, carrying his stuff from Michael’s. I help him with it. “Thought you said you didn’t have a lot?”

“I didn’t. I went shopping.” He smiles up at me.

“You okay?” I ask, pulling him into me.

“Not really.” 

“Tell me what happened. It will make you feel better.” I kiss his forehead.

He tells me how he went there and Mikey wasn’t there. He showed up and they talked, they cried and Mikey kissed him. He got caught up in the moment and old feelings and kissed him back. Pushing him down on the bed. He kissed Michael’s chest and moved down by his stomach and he asked if Mikey loved him. He said yes and he asked if he loved Ben and Mikey said yes too. So he got up, leaving the key and left. He regrets kissing him because it hurt more.

Justin leans into me and hugs me. “Brian, I know you want me to give you all I have, but right now, I can’t. I love you as much as I can right now.” I kiss his lips to stop him from saying more.

I lean back and look him in the eyes. “Justin, stop. I know how you feel. We will work this out and we will take things slow.” I kiss him again.

“Thanks. I know that it’s not fair to you.” 

“Justin, baby, this is my decision. You are worth the wait.” Then he starts to sob again.

Justin eventually falls asleep so I take the opportunity to look him over. He is so sad right now. I know he loved Mikey. But could Mikey be right about Justin? 

I look at the bag that Michael said the shirt is in and it’s not that I don’t trust Justin, but I have to know if it’s there.

I open it and see the shirt tucked to the side. I close my eyes. I know he said he is over him. I just have to wait this out. Okay, so now I have jealousy issues.

Justin woke up and for the rest of the night we put his things up. He pulls the clothes out of the bag, not caring that I am right there and can see Michael’s shirt. 

“What are you looking for?” I ask him.

“A shirt.” He replies. Shit.

“That one.” I reply pointing to Mikey’s shirt. He looks at it and throws it away.

“Justin, why the fuck did you threw it away? Isn’t that the one you want? 

“What, no.” He tells me and then looks at the shirt. “Brian, shit he’s fucking told you about that shirt, didn’t he?” I look at him. “No Brian, it’s not what you are thinking. He told you that so you would get pissed and throw me out so I would have no where to go but back to him. I am seriously looking for my blue sweater. It’s missing.” 

“Well, maybe Mikey switched them. Blue for blue. Justin I believe you, stop looking at me like that.”

“I don’t know. Daphne gave it to me before I moved here. I’m glad you believe me.” He tells me.

“Justin, look I know you are telling the truth. You haven’t lied to me before. Maybe you misplaced it.”

“No, I packed it in this bag because I wanted to wear it when we go to Babylon tonight.” 

“You want to go out tonight?”

“Yeah, I need to let off some steam. And I wanted to wear my favorite shirt.”

“How bout you let me dress you tonight?” I ask him.

“Umm, okay, but nothing too stupid.” He looks at me.

“Justin, you could wear tin foil and you wouldn’t look stupid. You look hot in everything.” He blushes and I get the clothes he will wear. I picked a dark pair of leather pants and a light blue sleeveless wife beater. He always dances so hard that he would be hot in anything else, and for once I don’t mean his looks.

We get out to Babylon and meet up with the boys, minus Mikey and Ben.

“Hey baby, you okay?” Emmett hugs Justin to him, a little too long in my opinion so I gradually lift his arms off my baby as I wrap my arms around his waist.

“Let’s go dance Sunshine.” He nods his head as he takes Emmett’s drink from him and downs it.

“Justin you shouldn’t…” I start to say when he stops me. 

“I know him.” He smiles as he pulls me to the dance floor.

We get into dancing and I can tell Justin could use a drink. 

“I’m going to go get us a drink.” I say to him as he nods his head and smiles.

I head up to the bar and as I am standing there Emmett comes over. 

“How is he doing?”

“He’s holding his own.” I tell him.

“Looks like someone else wants to hold him.” Em points to the floor. I look over to find Justin in the arms of Mikey with his hand on Michael’s chest. 

I walk over and stand behind Justin as Michael pulls him into a kiss. Justin pushes him away.

“No, Michael. I told you I won’t fucking do this. Just stop. Please Michael, just stop.” 

I push Michael away from him and pull him into me. “You okay?” I whisper into his ear. He shakes his head.

“Michael, it’s obvious that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Stop fucking with his heart. He’s torn apart enough. I’m trying to help him heal, but you are fucking ripping him apart.” I tell him. “Why are you doing this?” 

“Because he loves me Brian.” Michael tries to tell me.

“He doesn’t want to be with you.”

“He doesn’t love you Brian.” 

“I am giving him what he needs, back the fuck off Michael.”

“STOP IT! JUST FUCKING STOP!” Justin screams at us both. He turns to me. “Brian, please take me home.” 

“Justin, I am sorry. Please, I love you. I will die without you.” Justin stops and turns around 

“Michael Novotny, don’t you fucking use that line on him. He’s hurting enough.” Emmett comes up behind Justin who seems to lean into him. 

“Michael, he’s right. Stop this.” Ted tells him as well.

“NO, I want him with me.” 

I take Justin into my arms, leading him out. We get outside where Justin collapses into my arms.

“I know you still love him Justin. If he is what you want…”

“No, I don’t, I mean if it wasn’t for what happened I would. Damn it, he was fucking wearing my shirt.” 

“I thought so.” I whisper and we both laugh as Michael stands there watching us. Justin looks away and looks at me. “I do love him Brian. We were together a long time.”

“I know.”

“But I can’t trust him. I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”

“Do you trust me?” I have to ask. He leans into me and puts his arms around me.

“With my life Brian.” He whispers. The rest of the group stands there, watching us as I put Justin in the car, never looking at the blue sweater stealer as we pass by him to go home.

 

MICHAEL’S POV:

I can’t believe that he left with him. I am offering him another chance to be with the man he loves. ME. How can he do this with Brian and in front of me? I am not hurting him anymore. I am trying to get him back, so I can make him happy again. I know I fucked Ben and hell that someone wouldn’t. He’s fucking hot.

As they drive by me Justin won’t even look at me. I can’t believe I fucked up. I pick the phone up and dial Ben’s number. 

“Hello.” He says.

“Ben is Michael. I need you to come over.”

“Michael, it’s late. I have class in the morning.”

“Okay, never mind.” I hang up the cell. I look at the sweater I have on. Is Justin’s I thought if I wore it, he would see I need him in my arms. I need him to keep me warm. 

I love him. I love Ben. But I can live without Ben. I can’t without Justin. Why can’t he see that? I know Ben is a great fuck. But even he is telling me I was wrong on what I did and that I am doing things to hurt Justin. Well, what I’ll do next will hurt him forever.


	6. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to my beta and to my homegirl Sid..thx for your help and input. I know I pester you alot but you told me to.lol

* * *

Justin’s POV:

I’m standing here waiting for the almighty god of Brian Kinney to get dressed. Last night we decided we would go back to Babylon tonight. We came home and talked about Michael and how it will take some time to get over it. Brian kept reassuring that he will be around and will wait for me.

“Ok, I’m all set.” Brian said from behind me.

I turn around to see him naked. I start to laugh.

“Brian, I really believe they would let you in like that.” 

“Me too, but I will put these on.” He gets dressed and we are out the door. 

Once at Babylon and a few drinks in our systems, the night before is out of our minds. We are in each other’s arms when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn to see Michael behind me, still in my blue sweater.

“Damn it Mikey, when are you going to stop this stalking shit?” Brian asks annoyed.

Ignoring Brian he looks at me. “I need to talk to you Justin.” He looks like he has been crying.

“Mikey, what is it?” I ask a tad more concerned. 

“Please, just let me talk to you, alone.” 

I turn to Brian and he looks at me. “Up to you, Sunshine.” And I nod my head, turning back to Michael I nod my head in the direction of the exit. We get outside and Mikey plunges into my arms.

I rub his back a minute and push him away. “I know you are hurting and I am sorry, but Mikey, I am hurting too.” 

“He has HIV.” Mikey blurts out.

“Who does?” I ask him.

“Ben.” I now know what this is about. He was sleeping with someone with HIV and even though we used protection, it’s a scary thing. “Did you use protection?”

“Yes. But accidents happen.” My heart jumps. Oh my god, accidents happen. I take a step back.

“Oh my god.” I repeat.

“I know, Justin. I was tested. The condom we used broke and now I have it?” 

I hug him into my arms. Mikey has HIV. Oh my god. Mikey has HIV. What if... 

 

I fall back against the wall and Mikey thinks it’s an invitation and kisses me. I push him back.

“I need you Justin.” 

“When did you know?” 

“He told me at the beginning but I didn’t remember it.”

I can’t say anything as I begin to walk away. “Justin?” He yells to me. I stop and turn around.

“How the fuck can you forget that someone told you he’s HIV?! You fucking don’t forget. You remember it. And you are using this now because you are hoping that I will fucking feel so sorry that I would come running back. Don’t you fucking get it? Every fucking time we had sex, YOU put ME at risk. YOU put ME in jeopardy. Which now puts Brian at risk. It’s not enough that you fucking cheated on me but you did it with someone with HIV and you never thought about anyone but yourself. You and I had sex all that time and you didn’t bother to tell me you were infected. Why did you stay with him once he told you and once you found out?”

“Because I loved him and I didn’t think it was important At the time I didn’t know I was infected. But then I got into thinking that if I got sick tomorrow and died I would want my last days with you”

“Fuck you, Michael.”

I walk back into the club and find Brian. I lean into him and wipe a tear. “Shh, it’s okay Sunshine.” He whispers to me.

“No.” I say in a quiet voice. “Take me home, please Brian. Just take me home.” And he nods, walking me out as I hear him tell the boys he will see them later. 

Once outside Mikey is leaning against the wall crying. He comes running over, throwing himself in my arms. 

“I’m so sorry, Justin.” 

“Get the fuck off me Michael.” And I feel Brian takes him off. 

“Michael, quit being a whiny baby. Justin has made his choice.” 

“Shut up, Brian! You don’t know what’s going on.” Michael snaps at him.

“Brian, just take me home.” I get in the car and watch as Brian comes around and shuts the driver’s door. We drive toward the loft and once we get there I go up, take a shower. I start to cry. I can’t believe this. I fall to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself. 

 

Brian’s POV:

I look up at the clock and see that Justin has been in the shower for over an hour. I know he was upset with the break up with Michael but I didn’t know it was this bad.

I get up and knock on the door and when he doesn’t answer. I open the door to find him sitting on the shower floor with his arms wrapped around his legs and shaking. I get in and turn the now cold water off and grab a towel. Wrapping it around him I pick him up and carry him to the bed. I lie down beside him and pull the covers up over us. He shivers in my arms and soon enough he is asleep. I don’t move knowing it would wake him up. So I lay there, staring at his features. 

He looks like an angel. I run my hands down his tear dried face and know that I will be losing him after this tonight. He loves Michael so much. I have to step away and let him be happy.

His body has stopped shaking and is now sleeping peacefully. I make a mental note of all his features. I can understand why Mikey doesn’t want to let him go.

He rolls over which gives me the opportunity to get up. I go into the kitchen to get some water. I sit on the couch and stare out the window. I don’t know how long I was sitting there when I feel someone sitting on my lap. I look up at Justin who lays his head on my chest, sobbing again.

I rub his back until he calms down. 

“I’m sorry, Brian.” He looks down.

I lift his chain up. “I understand. I would do everything I could too not lose you, but in the end it’s still your decision and if you love him this much, maybe you should give him another chance.” He looks at me stunned. 

He gets up and goes to the window and looks out. “I don’t want him back, Brian. That isn’t why I am upset. He told me something tonight.” I wrap my arms around him and pull him to me. 

“Let’s just forget him for tonight and be with each other. I thought I was going to lose you.” I kiss his neck. 

“Brian, I did love him, part of me always will, but I don’t want him back. I don’t trust him.”

I let out a long breath knowing how I am grateful for his decision. I lean my head into his neck and kiss it. 

“Brian.” He whispers as I turn him around and kiss him softly.

“It’s okay baby. Whatever it is, I want you with me.”

“I don’t want to have sex” He tells me and I nod my head.

“It’s not that I don’t want to Brian. It’s because...” I stop him with a kiss

“You don’t need to tell me anything.”

“Yes I do. Brian, Ben…Ben…” He tries to tell me and I take his hand. Taking him to the couch and sit him down. 

I kiss him softly and then pull him into me. “You are here, in my arms, safe. Whatever it is Justin, you can either tell me now, or when you are ready.”

“Ben’s HIV.” He said so quietly I have to strain to hear it.

“Michael knew and they broke up. Michael was hoping I would feel sorry for him because accidents happen and now he has it. And He fucking knew it. I know we used condoms all the time, but it’s the whole thing that he knew. And that we were on the verge of not using them.”

“Justin, unless you are with someone for life, don’t stop using a condom. I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.”

“Thanks, Brian.” 

“Whatever happens we will always get through it, together. Oh, I am starting to understand. You are worried that Mikey might have HIV.”

“No, he has it. He found out last week. Right before we broke up. I know we were always careful and we checked the condoms each time we pulled out but fuck Brian, he could have given it to me. What if we missed a condom when we pulled out or it leaked? I need to find out.”

I pull him into me, holding my angel who my best friend put at risk. This is so fucked up. Justin has been through enough. Even if he has it, I will NOT walk away from him

“Justin, look at me.” He does. “I love you, and what Michael did is unforgivable in many ways, but this doesn’t mean you have it. Let’s not jump to conclusions here and get you tested as well as me. I am not worried about me. I am more concerned about you.”

He leans into me crying. “Thanks, Brian. I think I needed to hear that. I just want to keep things slow”

*********

Justin and I both went to the doctor and both got tested. We get a call from the doctor and we head up there for the results. 

We are in the room waiting for Dr. Sidney.

“I love you, Justin.” I hold him holding him from behind.

“Me too.” He answers me.

“No matter what the results are Justin, we are in it together.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Sidney walks in with the results to the test. 

“Afternoon, gentlemen.” She says sticking her hand out. We both shake her hand.

“Well, the results are back.”

Justin and I look at each other waiting for the results. We both look at her again. “And?” I say looking back into Justin’s closed eyes. I grip his hand and turn to look at her and hear her response.

“You both are HIV....


	7. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to my beta TC and to the girls.

* * *

Brian’s POV:

“You are both HIV negative.”

We both sigh into each other and Justin looks up to me with tears forming. It felt like days before she answered us.

“I recommend you both come back every six months and keep getting a test, to be safe.”

“Thank you Dr. Sidney.” I don’t take my eyes off Justin’s.

“I’ll see you guys. I recommend you to use condoms.”

“Thanks, Doctor.” Justin whispers and as the doctor walks out Justin falls into my arms.

“You okay, Sunshine?” I ask him. He nods his head. “I am now.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Once we get to the loft, we see Michael. He is standing by the door as we pull up. I jump out of the car and go over to him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I blurt out.

“I want to know if he is okay. If you are both okay.” He remarks as he looks at Justin.

“I’m fine. Both of us were negative.” Justin tells him.

Mikey hugs him and Justin hugs him back for a moment before pushing him away.

“Thanks for stopping by to make sure we are okay. But I don’t want to see you again. You are a fucking asshole. “

“Justin?” He looks to me.

“This is his choice. He is relieved we are both ok. He is also sorry you have it but Mikey, you are not welcome here anymore. After what happened and finding out that we are both negative we decided to move back to New York. I called and told them my extended leave is over and that I will be back. I came to town only because I needed to see my family again. I have seen them and now, I am going back and I asked Justin to go with me. For a new start.”

He looks at Justin who nods his head. I had to talk him into moving with me. He needs a new start with a new life and the new life with me and as long as we are here, I have a feeling we won’t have the full chance we deserve.

“Justin, please don’t go.” 

“I want to get away, Michael. I have to get away. I can’t be around you right now. Knowing what happened and what you did and the fucking risk you put me and Brian in is too much.”

“I’ll leave you alone.” Michael tells him. “Maybe we can talk later.”

“Michael, I am going with Brian. If I want a new start I have to go. It is over with you and me and I am so fucking sorry it is, because even though you did this I still love you. A part of me always will. But I will never be able to forgive you for this. I could never be with you again.”

“So, you are settling with Brian?”

“NO, I am not settling. I feel for Brian. I have feelings for him. No not as strong as they were for you but in time I am sure they will be.” And with that he walked inside. Turning around he looks at Michael. “Take care of yourself Mikey.” Without taking his eyes off Michael he adds. “You coming, Brian?” 

“Yeah, in just a sec, go on up.” He nods and goes inside.

I turn to Michael and take his arm, pulling him away from the door. “Michael, I am sorry that you have this disease, but get this through your head. He isn’t coming back to you and if you even think about following us to New York, I will hurt you. He doesn’t want you around. Please give him what he wants. And if you ever try to come between us again, I will not be as forgiving as I am now. Got it?” 

He nods his head. “He is hurting over all of this and it is taking everything in me to keep my cool with you. You have said and done some fucked up things Michael, but putting someone at risk like you did him, that is the most fucked up thing a person could do. He loved you and for the record, I would never have tried to break you two up. He was happy with you and you fucked it up. You put him and me at risk. I could care less for myself, but Justin deserves better and for you to so gradually put him at risk, THAT is the worse thing you ever fucking did. And if he was positive, I would be all over your fucking ass and not in a life-affirming way. The only reason you told was because you were caught. It breaks my heart that you would do that to someone you say you love. “

“Brian...” 

“No, listen to me good Mikey, stay away from my boyfriend, or you won’t like what I will do to you. He means more to me than even myself.”

“Okay, I promise, I’ll stay away. You won’t have to worry about me.”

“Good, now run home and stay the fuck away from mine until we are able to forgive you for this shit.” And with that I walk upstairs to my boyfriend and my future

Once I get upstairs I see Justin looking out the window.

“I don’t know what you said to him, and I don’t want to know. Just promise me something Brian. Promise me that moving to New York with you won’t end in disaster. I don’t think I can handle getting hurt again.”

I put my arms around him and pull him into me. “I promise I won’t hurt you on purpose. I promise I will love you and I promise I will do all I can to make you happy.” 

“That’s good enough for me.” He turns around and kisses me.

“Justin, I love you and I want you happy. I know that things won’t be totally happy when we get there, but I want you to know that by your next birthday, you will be happy.”

“Brian, I am happy with you. It’s just that it still hurts and I really can’t rush into things. Yes, I am going to New York with you but we still need to keep things slow like they are.”

“Understood. Just know that when you are ready, I will be here and I am glad you are okay.” 

“I’m glad you are too.”

I kiss him softly which soon turns into an all out frenzy kiss. I moan into his mouth as I pull away, looking down at him and he smiles. 

“It’s been awhile, I think we have to catch up on our love making.” I tell him as his smile grows. 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to do anything without knowing the truth.”

“It’s alright baby, lets just make up for it now.” And with eagerness we make our way to the bedroom where we proceed to make love for the remainder of the afternoon.

He is on top of me, running his hand over my nipple. “You keep doing that Sunshine and I won’t be able to keep the beast down.”

He laughs and moves his hand lower, stroking the beast in his hand. He leans up looking into my eyes and never stopping his movements he jerks me off and even though it was only his hand it was one of the best orgasms I have felt.

“Sunshine, you are the light of my life.”

“And you are mine. I know I am not being the best right now, but I promise the future will get better.”

“Justin, I love you. I have never said that to anyone like I do you. But you have showed me that real love can happen and that there are good people out there who know what real love is.”

“Thanks, Brian.”

“No, thank you.” I start to stroke him as he strokes me. He leans over me, placing our cocks together and rubs them together. He kisses my mouth and moves his hips into me. 

The friction between us is so pleasurable that we are both reaching our orgasms without even touching with our hands but just dick to dick. It was one of the best yet to cum. 

We get up and take a shower together. Two blowjobs later we are sitting on the couch, going over things to take with us.

*********************************** 

Michael’s POV:

As I walk away from Justin and Brian’s I can’t help but get a sickening feeling. I know that I fucked up and that I need to make things right. 

I don’t know what else to do. I lost the one person who loved me the most. I know Ben loves me and he wants to be there for me since he is the one who infected me and I don’t hold it against him. I should have been more careful with him. Knowing he was positive but then it is my own fault. 

I told Ben that we couldn’t be together anymore and not because I didn’t care for him, it’s just that I didn’t realize how much Justin meant to me. I lost him. 

Now my ex boyfriend is with my ex best friend and it’s my own fault. I pushed him there. I cheated on him. Well, now I know that I don’t have my choice but to do what I planned from the beginning. Justin will be better off this way. He will thank me later. 

If I ever want piece of mind, I have to do this. I have to for Justin. I take out a pen and paper and put my plan into action.

The first thing I do is write down all the things I want to say to Justin and Ben and Ma and Vic. I tell Ma and Vic how much I love them and how sorry I am. I also tell them not to blame Justin in any way, that this is my decision. I can’t live with what I have done to Justin.

I also write to Ben, telling him I’m sorry as well, that I don’t blame him for what happened. I say I love him but I can’t live with this and the fear of getting sick. I’m not as strong as he is. Then the hardest ones to write are to Brian and Justin. I write them separate. Telling Brian I’m sorry and to take care of Justin. I tell Justin a few other things and leave it on the table with the rest of the letters.

I then walk into the bedroom, picking up Justin’s blue sweater. The blue one. He loved that shirt and I loved him in it. I put on his shirt, I want to be close to him in the end and feel the warmth and the smell of him that the shirt still holds. I love his smell.

I walk to the bed where I have the objects ready. The drugs, the needles already with the drugs in them, and the arm band. I brought some steroids off some dealer in the street. I saw Ben use them a few times and thought they wouldn’t be a bad choice.

I place the armband around my arm. I take the two needles that are full of the substance and put them beside me on the bed. 

I pick up one needle, taping it as seen in movies and then stick it into my arm. I push the liquid in and feel it slide into my veins. I pull it out and place the second one in my arm. Releasing the liquid as well. I lean my head back taking the armband off.

I put my head against the headboard and start to remember the good times that Justin and I had. I remember his blue eyes that sparkled. His gorgeous flowing blond hair. I remember his big smile. I remember how he kissed me. How he made love to me. How he would make me feel like I was the only one in his life. 

I think I hear the door opening. I close my eye, opening them to see Ben at my side, begging me not to die.

***********************

Ben’s POV:

I decide to go see Michael and see how Justin and Brian’s appointment went. We broke up but I still care for him. We decided to stay friends for now. He seemed really down not wanting to talk. 

“Michael.” I yell for him but get no answer. 

I move into the living room. I spot some letters on the table. Picking them up ‘Justin’, ‘Brian’, ‘Ted & Emmett’, ‘Ma & Vic’ and there is also one for me. 

I open the one for me as I begin to read it my heart skips a beat. 

“Ben, I know I cheated with you on Justin and I want you to know that I do love you. I don’t blame you for my condition. Under any circumstance do I blame you. I am just not as strong as you. I am also ashamed for what I did to Justin by putting him at risk as well as Brian and never said anything until it was too late. My life is over. Take care of yourself. Love, Michael. ” 

My heart jumps into my throat. A suicide note. 

“Michael!” I look around but don’t see him. I run into the bedroom to see Michael lying on the bed. 

I run to his side. “Michael!” He opens his eyes and closes them. I spot the steroid bottle and notice it’s empty. 

“MICHAEL, DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!” I yell at him, picking up the phone to dial 9-11 and hope they get here on time.


	8. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to all those who have stood by me. this chapter is for all of you. Also thanks to my beta Britt and to the girls for all their help. i just got done moving so I should be able to write more and update more often as well. Enjoy.

* * *

Brian POV:

I glance around the waiting room looking at the family, all of which are waiting on news about Mikey’s condition. 

Debbie is pacing back and forth while Vic is trying to calm her down.

Emmett is in tears as Theodore hugs him, whispering everything will work out.

Mel and Linds are also here, leaning on each other. Gus was dropped off earlier before they got here at one of their friends houses. 

Ben is over in the corner, alone. He doesn’t want to be around Debbie with good reason. And Justin is leaning in my arms, shaking. I am the most concerned about him. I remember back to when we first found out.

_Justin was sitting on my legs, kissing me when the phone rang. I reached for it as Justin bit my neck._

_“You’ll pay for that.” I laugh while picking up the phone._

_“Hello” I ask into the receiver and I hear crying in the background._

_“Brian, its Ben.”_

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“We are at the hospital. I found Michael in the middle of his suicide attempt. We aren’t sure he will make it.”_

_“We’ll be there. County General?” I ask_

_“Ya.”_

_“Ok.” I hang up the phone, turning back to Justin. “Justin, we need to get to the hospital. Michael decided he wanted to try to kill himself.” I see Justin sway and I grab him._

_“Oh my god. Is he?” He couldn’t even finish his sentence._

_“I’m not sure. All of the family is up at the hospital so I guess he’s alright. At least until his mother gets a hold of him.”_

_We grabbed our coats and headed for the hospital._

I’m pulled back to the present situation with Justin’s voice.

“This is my fault. I shouldn’t have been so hard on him.” Justin said to no one in particular.

“Don’t you say that Sunshine. What Michael has pulled isn’t your fault. It’s his own. He is the one who cheated on you. With him.” Pointing to Ben who lowers his head.

“She’s right Justin. He’ll be okay just so Deb can skin him alive.” Vic replies.

“Your damn right I will. Just for making all of us worry about him.” Deb wipes away a tear.

Just then the doctor comes into the waiting room. “Novotny Family?” 

“That’s all of us and before you say it, they are all family. How is my son?” Deb steps up to him. 

The doctor nods his head at us and looks back to Debbie. “I’m very sorry Ms. Novotny, but your son didn’t make it. We did the best we could, but it was too late to counter-strike the steroids in his body.” 

Deb falls back into Vic’s arms and cries. “NOOOO. Oh God no, not Michael. NOO” She turns around and puts her head onto Vic’s shoulders as he pulls her to him. 

I see Emmett in Ted’s arms crying together. The girls were doing the same with each other. I look over at Ben who wipes a tear away.

Justin walks out of the room and I follow him, stopping by to hug Deb. “Deb, I’m sorry.” 

“Not your fault Brian.” Looking around she sees Justin walking down the hall, keeping his balance by holding the wall. “Go after him Brian. Don’t leave him alone.” I nod kissing her cheek. Handing her back over to Vic and knowing that she will be with family. I make my way outside to see Justin. 

He’s over by the wall, bending over. He leans up, putting his head against the wall, and then suddenly collapse’s onto the ground. I run over to him and lean down by him, pulling him into me where he begins to let loose of what he’s feeling. 

“It’s not your fault Justin” I keep repeating to him.

He hugs me tighter and when we go to stand up, he falls into me, so I sit him back down.

“I should have known. I shouldn’t have been so hard on him.” 

“Justin, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t force him to take anything. You aren’t to blame.” I rub his back.

“Justin?” We both look up to find Ben standing there. “Michael wrote these and I thought.” He started to cry as he handed us two envelopes with our names on them. Justin stands up and takes it from him. 

He looked at the writing on the front and looked up at Ben. “You fucking asshole. You fucking boyfriend stealing, HIV giving selfish son of a bitch” Justin attacks Ben, hitting him in the face with his fist. I reach out and grab him pulling him off.

“Justin, I’m sorry.” Ben tells him and Justin pulls out of my arms.

“Fuck you Ben. Fuck you, Fuck everyone. If this is what loving someone does, I don’t want any fucking part of it. I’m fucking through. I’m done.” He runs towards the packing garage. I run after him, grabbing him by his arm.

“Justin, I know you are upset, but don’t push us away. Okay, push Ben away but not me. Please Justin. Please don’t push me away. I love you and I know this is killing you right now.” He just falls onto my chest, hugging me tighter as we both sob. 

“Brian, I’m sorry. I, damn it why the fuck didn’t I see this coming? I need something from you Brian”

“Name it.”

“I need you to just leave me alone. I need some time alone.” 

“Justin, I can’t do that. Look I know this is the hardest thing to deal with but I won’t let you go through it alone.”

“Brian, he fucking loved me. He’s dead because I didn’t give him another chance.”

“NO! He is dead because he was weak and couldn’t handle being away from you. He did it because he knew it would destroy you. He fucking did it because he was a selfish son of a bitch who cheated on you and the only reason he decided he wanted you back was because he was scared of dying, well now he doesn’t have to worry about that part.” I feel a sting of a slap from Justin’s hand to my face.

“Don’t fucking say that about him Brian. Regardless of why, I still fucking loved him.”

“Ok, look I’m sorry I said that, but Justin, please I need you as much as you need me right now. Stop fucking pushing me away. You know how I feel about you.”

“Ya, the same way Mikey did and look where that got us. He’s dead, Brian, and he isn’t coming back.”

“He’s dead because he chose it that way Justin.” 

“Don’t you think I fucking know that Brian. I was there. I heard the doctor. Oh god.” Justin starts to sob again as I pull him to me. “I’m not leaving you alone Justin. I’m right here. He was my best friend too. I’m hurting as well. Please Justin, we need each other right now. Don’t fucking leave me alone.” 

“Brian.” Justin turns in my arms. “I’m so sorry. I killed your best friend. Holy shit. I’m sorry.”

“NO, you didn’t Justin. He did it. Not you. I lost my best friend tonight, I don’t want to lose my lover too. Justin, I can’t lose you to. Please.” I beg as I begin to sob as well. We stand there holding each other, crying.

Deb comes over and pulls us both into her. “We’re all going back to my house. And the two of you are coming” 

“Yes mom” I smile at her.

Once we returned to Deb’s we were all just sitting around. No one was really talking, but just being in the circle is better then being alone. Deb even invited Ben back, which Justin wasn’t to happy about but Deb said that he shouldn’t have to be alone either, that he tried to save Michael.

Deb gets up and goes into the kitchen. “Sunshine, come in here.” She yells to him.

****************************************  
Justin POV:

I walk into the kitchen and instantly, I get pulled into a bear hug. 

“I want you to listen to me Sunshine. Under any circumstance do I or anyone else blame you. You didn’t make Michael do that to himself. And just like we don’t blame you, we don’t blame Ben either. You both loved him. We all loved him.”

“I should have went back to him” 

“No, you shouldn’t have been blackmailed into that. You left him for good reason. Justin, Michael was old enough to know better. You went to Brian AFTER you broke up with my son. He can’t blame you for moving on. You seem to have feelings growing for Brian and I can tell he does for you as well.”

“Deb, I could have been happy with him again. I know I could.”

“But you didn’t trust him for good reason baby.”

I nod my head as I am hugged once more. 

“I want you to give the eulogy at the funeral.” 

“Deb, I can’t, please don’t make me do that.”

“It might will help you as well baby.”

“No I can’t, I’m sorry. I don’t even know why you let me come here. I killed him Deb.” I start to cry again and she pulls me in.

“Justin Taylor, you listen to me. You didn’t kill him. He killed himself. He was the one who did it.” 

“She’s right Justin.” We turn to see Vic standing there. “I just told Ben the same thing”

“I know I shouldn’t be mad at him but I am” I whisper.

“And you have the right to be. He’s the one Michael cheated with.”

“Well, think about the eulogy. Brian can help you with it.” 

“I can’t do it Deb. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe you’ll change your mind. I’m going to take this into the living room.” I nod my head and start to follow her back out when I remember the letter in my pocket. I sneak outside to be alone.

 

Once outside I take the letter out and run my fingers over the writing. I slowly open it up.

_“Justin, I know by the time you get this, I will be either dead or close to dead. I am sorry for doing it this way but I am too scared to do it any other way. I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. I don’t blame you. When I lost you, I lost everything. Yes I loved Ben, but not as much as I loved you and now I am here, alone. I can’t live without you Justin. I even ended it in your blue sweater to be as close to you in the end as I could be. I’m sure they will give it back to you._

_Justin I know that this will hurt you and Brian, but believe me, it’s better this way, for all of us. Now you and the family won’t watch me get sick. I’ve seen what it does to my mom when Uncle Vic is sick and I didn’t want to add to her burden or yours. I love you Justin. We won’t be together in this life form but I will be waiting in the next for you. I will be waiting for my one true love, you. I’m sorry I put you at risk. I deserve what I am getting. I hurt you. Don’t worry, I will always be with you. I will also be waiting with open arms in the future. I love you. Never forget that. Love always, Mikey. PS. Please don’t blame Ben for this either. It’s not his fault either. Yours Always..Michael._

I fold it back up and place it into my pocket once more. I wipe my tears away and look back to the house. I walk back inside hearing them talking.

“I’m sorry Deb.” Ben tells them.

I turn and go back outside, not wanting to see anyone again. I really can’t seem to forget any of their words.

I walk away from the house, away from the memories, away from Michael’s family, away from everything. 

I walk back to the loft and grab a few things as Brian walks in. “I knew you were coming here.”

“How?”

“I saw you leave Sunshine. Did you think I would take my eyes off you?” 

“Brian, just let me go, please.” I beg him.

“No, I won’t because I know you are feeling at fault and I refuse to let you leave.”

“Brian” I start to cry. “This is my decision”

“And this is mine” He pulls me into him, kissing my lips softly. “I won’t lose you to Justin” He whispers in my ear.

“If you want to go somewhere then we will, but I will not let you go alone so you can keep thinking it’s your fault.”

“Yes it is” I whisper back to him. 

“No, it’s not.” He is stroking my hair now. He won’t let me go. I pull him tighter and sob.

After about thirty minutes Brian looks down into my face. “Justin, stop feeling guilty. It’s not your fault.” 

“You keep saying that” I look down and he takes my chin, lifting it up.

“And I will keep saying it until you fucking believe it yourself and know it.”

I just nod my head. I can’t help but feel guilty since it was over me. “Justin, that is enough, stop this right now.”

“How did you know?”

“Because I know your touch, I know your sighs; I know every fucking thing about your body language and mind. You are not to blame here. Now you must believe it”

“Ok.”

“Now I am going to go run you some bath water and we will both take a hot bath, together.” 

“Ok, Thanks Brian.”

“No need to thank me Sunshine. Just don’t push me away.”

He walks into the bathroom and I pick up my jacket. I look towards the bathroom and wipe a tear. “I’m sorry Brian, I don’t want to be around anyone right now.” I open the loft door just to have a hand stop me.

I turn to the tear filled face of Brian. “Justin, please don’t leave me” He whispers through tears. “Please don’t go.”

I shut the door and let him pull me into a hug. “I love you too Brian.” I guess being alone isn’t the right way to go on this. Maybe I do need him more then I realize as I pull him tighter to me, I squeeze his neck into mine and just hold him. “I’ll never let you go” He whispers. “Me either” I tell him back as we sag into the couch, together. Waiting for the next step in this fucked up life we are living.


	9. To Tell the Truth

Thanks to my beta Britt for doing a great job. Also thanks to the girls. You know who you are.

* * *

Brian POV:

Well, it’s been two long days since Mikey killed himself. Justin and I walk into the funeral home, only to be greeted by family and friends. 

“I’m glad that you are here baby.” Emmett hugs Justin as we move past him. We spot the rest of the family in the pews, and Justin leaves my side to go up by Deb.

“Hey Sunshine.” She hugs us both but keeping her eyes on Justin. “Hey Deb.”

Justin looks around and lowers his head. 

“I guess we better go sit down.” Justin quietly replies. 

“No, you stick right here by me.” Deb grabs Justin’s arm. Justin nods his head and sits back down. I take the seat next to him and put my arm around him.

The minister gets up on the podium. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here this morning to bid farewell to a young man named Michael Andrew Novotny. I have been asked to do this sermon as casual as possible since the young man being buried was light headed in many areas.” Some people laughed at the joke.

“Michael was the son of Debbie, who we all know as Mother Deb……” the preacher went off on his own thoughts. I look at Justin who is just staring at the picture of Mikey on the casket.

“I have been told that there was a young man was asked to give the eulogy so I will ask him to step up here now. Justin Taylor.” I look at Justin whose head shot up as well.

“Deb, I can’t I told you” He whispers to Deb. 

“Yes you can, do it for Michael” Justin slowly gets up and walks up.

“I umm, don’t know what to say really. Michael and I were together for a few years. I loved him” Justin wiped some tears away and my heart was breaking for him. “Mikey loved comics and he loved” Justin looked behind me at someone, I turn to see Ben sitting there, wiping his own tears. I look back up to Justin. 

“Come on Sunshine, do it for Michael” Deb said again. I look back up as Justin wipes his eyes and seems to be frozen in time. 

“Justin?” The minister said.

I get up and go up to join Justin. I wrap an arm around him and he looks at me then back at Ben.

“Justin” I whisper to him. “You don’t have to do this.” 

“Justin honey, he would have wanted you to.” Vic replied. 

“Why should I, he didn’t even think twice about how this would effect us. How this would hurt everyone here. How fucking around on me with someone who has HIV would be safe for him, just to think it was a curse because he cheated around on me. Do what for Mikey, make him happy to have us all here, like this. Hell yeah, he loved the attention. Why should I do something for him when he isn’t fucking alive to enjoy it. Why didn’t I just stay?” He pulls away from me crying. 

“He didn’t even think about his friends or family when he cheated, or when he killed himself.” Justin starts to lose his balance as he looks at the casket again. I reach for him but he jerks away.

“Justin sweetie, calm down” Deb tells him coming up to see him, but it’s to late, Justin collapses into my arms and falls to the floor. 

“Shit! He’s having a panic attack. Everyone move away.” Deb instructs. “Brian, pick him up and carry him into the office. Lay him on the couch in there.

I do as she tells me. “Get a wet cold washcloth.” Em brings one over and Deb hands it to me, since I won’t leave his side. I run it on his face. He’s lying on his side so I rub smoothing circles on his back.

“Mikey” He whispers and I wish he was alive so I could kill the son of a bitch.  
“Shh, relax baby” I whisper to him. 

He calms down and falls asleep. I go out to let everyone know that he is ok. 

“You’re good with him Brian” Deb tells me, I just nod my head.

“I didn’t know Brian. I thought it would help him.”

“Ya it did, right into a fucking panic attack. Deb, he’s hurting. He blames himself; he hates life right now, even though he cares for me, this is really killing him slowly.”

“I know, and we will all be there for him.”

“He just feels like there is unfinished business.” I whisper to her. 

“Brian, just be there for him. He is pushing us all away from him.” She hugs me close as the minister comes back up.

“Shall we continue?” 

“Let me go get Justin” She answers. As she goes in she comes running back out. “He’s gone, Brian he’s gone”

“WHAT?” No way. How did he get past us?”

I look at Deb and turn to the minister. “Go ahead and continue it. I’m going to go look for Justin” Deb nods at me and I walk out, never even noticing that Ben also disappeared.

*******************************

Justin POV:

I couldn’t deal with all the sadness again, knowing all I had to do was stay with Mikey and all of them would still be smiling instead of crying. When I woke up in the office and I was alone, I snuck out the window.

I’m currently walking in the cemetery when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Ben standing there. 

“What the fuck do you want?” I ask him angrily.

“Justin, let’s talk. I know that you are hurting and I want to help you.” 

“Help me, that’s a fucking laugh. You destroyed my commitment to Michael. Now he’s dead and he died with the disease YOU fucking gave him. How does it feel to know you gave it to someone? How does it feel to know you destroyed all of their lives because you couldn’t keep your hands, or your dick away from what was mine? It should be you in the casket, not Mikey.” I start to cry as Ben pulls me into him. 

I push him away “Justin look, I told him I didn’t think it was right, but people make mistakes. I fell for a taken man. I am sorry.” 

I pull my arms from his hold and punch him. “Fuck you. Fuck him, fuck. FUCK LIFE.” I scream.

“Justin, please, you need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” And I am starting to think I should listen as I am hit with another panic attack. Ben takes my arm and pulls me into him, running his hands on my back. “Calm down Justin.” 

“I can’t Ben” I say just above a whisper. “I can’t live life knowing he died wanting me” 

***********************************************

Ben POV:

“Yes you can. You will. You have people who care about you.” I whisper to him. 

“They are his family” He tells me.

“No they are yours too. And you are mine as well.” He cries even more so I pick him up and he lays his head on my shoulder, shaking. “I killed him” 

I put him in my car and drive us some place we can talk and not be interrupted. I didn’t know just how bad this was affecting Justin. I know at the hospital when he was using that wall to hold him up that this would blow up for him.

Once we get to my cabin I pick up the now sleeping Justin and take him in, laying him on the bed I get the wash rag and wipe his face. Just then his cell phone rings, I pick it up automatically knowing whose calling. 

“He’s fine. He’s resting.” 

“Ben if you fucking touch him I will kill you. Let me talk to him.”

I take a deep breath. “ I’m not waking him Brian. We are going to talk and work out these feelings of blame. I am not out to hurt him.”

“Could’ve fooled me. Tell me where the fuck you are so I can come get my boyfriend.”

“Brian, Justin doesn’t need you hovering over him. Give him some time. I will have him call you when he wakes up.” I hang up the phone and turn it off.

As I wait for Justin to wake up I begin to make some tea. Justin starts to stir so I walk back in there and sit next to him. “Here Justin, drink some tea it will help you feel better.”

He takes a drink and then looks at me. Looking around he notices he’s somewhere he doesn’t know. 

“Where the fuck am I? Why did you bring me here? Ben, take me the fuck home NOW!”

“No, not until we get past this self blaming. Michael wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“Bullshit or he wouldn’t have done it and with my fucking sweater on” I see his eyes start to water.

“Justin I know this is hard on you. I know you loved him.” 

“So did you, and he fucking loved you as well” He spats out.

“Not as much as he loved you. Justin look, I didn’t bring you here to fight.”

“Well too fucking bad. This is like kidnapping.” He gets up and walks around the room.

“No, just borrowing you for a few hours or days depending on how much we get done here.”  
He punches me again. “Take me the fuck home Ben, I am not your little project now that Mikey’s gone.”

“You were never a project Justin. I want to help you. Please let me help you.” I wipe some tears away. 

“Help me what, kill myself. No, I don’t need your help in that. Besides I wouldn’t do that because then I would kill Mikey again when I saw him.”

“Justin.” 

“Fuck you Ben. You don’t know shit. I want to go home.”

“No, not until this is settled.”

“Settled, what, that you came between us, and now the man I loved is dead.” He starts to sob again. “FUCK!” he screams into the air. 

“That’s it, let it out.”

“Fuck you, Fuck you FUCK YOU” He knocks some things off the table as he falls to the floor. “Why Mikey? Why did you leave me? Why? I’m so sorry” 

“Justin, Michael knew you didn’t trust him and he decided to end it with drugs instead of with words.”

“He could have talked to me.” Justin wipes his tears as I slip my arm around his waist, pulling him into me. 

“What are you doing” He looks at me. 

“It’s called comforting.’ He nods and finally leans into me, crying until he felt like he had no tears left.

“I want him to come back I would go back to him, I just want him alive” He softly said. “He doesn’t deserve death.” 

“Justin, he took that into his own hands.”

“No, I killed him. All he wanted was me back. Why couldn’t I have just given that to him?”

“Because you are just like every human being who can’t be with someone they don’t trust.” I tell him, running my hands on his back. 

“Ben, can I stay here awhile even when you do go back? And promise me you won’t tell anyone where I am.”

“Justin, you can stay here as long as you like but you have to tell Brian you are okay. He’ll kill me if I show up without you.”

Justin called Brian and told him he was fine that he just needs a few days of peace and quiet. I told him I wouldn’t leave until I knew he didn’t blame himself anymore. He said that he didn’t and that he blames me now. Well that’s a start.

I head back to town and when I get there, Brian is sitting on the steps. 

“Brian, would you like to come up?” He smiles at me and before I knew it he punches me in the face. 

“Fuck what is it with you guys and punching me in the face. Fuck.” 

“Where is he Ben?”

“He’s safe. I promised not to tell.”

“So now you’re keeping another fucking secret that can end up the same fucking way. Ben he blames himself for all of this. He needs me.”

“He needs time alone Brian. He told me he doesn’t blame himself anymore.”

“He was fucking lying. You know how many times since that first night he has told me he doesn’t blame himself to just turn around and do it? Fuck Ben. Where is he?”

“Brian.” 

“No, either you tell me or you and me are going to have rounds and one of us will be in the hospital. I want to go to my boyfriend, now where is he?” 

“He’s at my cabin at 2226 Lake Shore. Just tell him you threatened me and Brian, don’t fuck him up any more then he is.” I walk upstairs, as I look back I see Brian get into his car and drive in the direction of Justin. I just hope I made the right decision. I was going to tell him anyway. Justin does need him. Now if Justin could only forgive himself for something he didn’t do. 

**********************************************************

Brian POV:

I pull up to the cabin and can spot a candle burning. I let myself in as I found the extra key. I go into the hot tub room and found Justin there in the tub. He’s been crying again, he has streaks running all down his face. I lean against the wall, watching him.

“He told you where I was” He comments without opening his eyes. 

“I made him. I threatened to put him in the hospital. How did you know it was me?” 

“I know when you are near Brian. I could sense it. Please just go home. As you can see I’m fine.” Never opening his eyes he takes a drink of whiskey.

“Justin, please, I want to help you and no I am not leaving you. Do you know how scared I was when Deb said you were gone? Then to find out you were with Ben.”

“It wasn’t my idea. I had another attack fighting with him and he just brought me here.”

“He said you told him you stopped blaming yourself.”

“Whatever floats his boat and gets him to leave mine astray”

“Justin, please, stop pushing me away”

“I’m not pushing Brian, I just wanted to be alone.”

I take off my clothes and climb in beside him. “And I know you still blame yourself”

“Well why lay the blame somewhere it don’t belong? “

“My point exactly. It doesn’t belong on you either. Michael did it himself,” I say pulling him into my arms. He doesn’t fight me.

I can hear him softly crying as he digs himself closer to me. “He had so much to live for” 

“And so do you Sunshine. So do you” I kiss his head and hold him until we both start getting cold and get out. I carry him to the bed where we lie together. 

He cries in my arms as he falls asleep. I pull him closer to me. “I love you Sunshine and come high or hell water I will not let you push me away.” I close my eyes and drift off, hoping tomorrow will be a better day and my Sunshine shines just a little bit more on me.


	10. To Tell the Truth

Thx again to my beta.Britt for the great job.Thx to the girls as well. Sid, thx for being there when I needed you. I love you all.

* * *

Justin POV:

It’s been a total of two weeks since Brian and I got back from the cabin. All we did was talk and it always ended the same way. I would want to be alone. I still can’t let Brian get close to my heart. We fuck, but I’m not ready to move on yet.

“Justin.” Brian calls me from the bathroom

“Yeah?” I ask as I walk into the bathroom.

“Is this a gray hair?” He pulls a hair up off his head. I laugh thinking how Brian feels about his looks.

“I don’t think so, it’s more of a blondish color” I tell him laughing. 

“It’s fucking gray” He yanks it out. 

“You know they say for each gray hair you pull out; two more grows back in its place.” 

“Shit!” He tries to put the hair back into his head. I walk out laughing.

“Ok, I am picking up some dye today.” He tells me as he slaps my ass.

“Brian, you are over reacting. No one would have seen it if you hadn’t searched it out” I laugh as I sit down, Brian pulls me onto his body.

He kisses my nose and looks into my hair. 

“Brian stop it, you won’t find anything” I scream as he pulls out a hair. 

“What’s this?” He asks me.

“It’s blond you asshole.” 

“Well you know what they say, for every blond hair you pull out, two brunette grows back in its place.” I slap his hip. 

“Not funny.” He laughs at my child-like look.

He starts to kiss me as he reaches between us, pulling off my shirt. “I’ll show you my kind of fun” He whispers into my ear.

I moan as his mouth covers my nipple, biting it a little as he pulls it with his teeth. He knows how much that turns me on. I pull his hair and he moans, moving his hand between us, rubbing the cloth of my sweats. “I want you” He bites my neck as he pulls his own shirt off. 

He stands up, carrying me with him into the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed, covering my body with his, rubbing his dick against mine. “Can you feel how much I want you?” He asks me seductively. 

“Yes.” I moan out as he leans up, pulling my sweats off my body. He looks down at me smiling. “You are so fucking gorgeous” 

“Flattering will get you everywhere.” I whisper

He leans over and takes my dick into his mouth as he begins to suck, like his life depended on it. I push my hips up into his mouth and close my eyes.

He continues to ravish the rest of my body as he prepares me for his cock. Once I am prepared to his liking, he slides into me in one slow but sensual motion.

He moves in and out, slowly at first and then slams into me. I reach for my cock as he grabs my hand to stop me. I look up and he’s shaking his head, smiling. “I got plans for your cock” He says as he pushes into me one last time, cumin into the condom, he rolls off and pulls me over onto him. “Fuck me” he tells me and I look down at him, smiling. 

I prepare him with my tongue and lube and place a condom on my cock. I slide in slowly. “Fuck me hard” He pushes his hips up into me. I start to move faster and deeper as I reach down; I open his ass cheeks and angle myself. “Put a pillow under your hips.” And he does, giving me the angle to slam even farther into him. As I do I feel my balls start to tighten I reach down and slide a finger in with my dick and slam into him again and again. Hitting his prostate and everything else inside him as I slam into him two more times, I feel the condom start to fill up, looking down I see Brian cumin as well. 

After we both come down from our high, I pull out and throw the condom away. “Fuck Justin, that’s the first time someone made me cum without even touching my dick.”

I look at him, smiling. “It’s a talent” 

“Don’t fucking lose it” He laughs and pulls me into a long kiss. 

We get up and shower and with one more fuck and a blowjob later, we are sitting on the couch watching TV when Brian hands me some mail. 

I see a letter addressed to me but with no return address. I see the handwriting and freeze. It’s Michael’s. I look at Brian who is looking at some other piece of mail. He looks at me and I see his eyes change. “What’s wrong Sunshine?” He asks me. I lift the envelope and he takes it from me. 

He opens it and looks at it, handing it to me. “Justin, it’s a letter addressed to you, it looks like Mikey’s handwriting.” 

I open it and look at the date. It’s the date he killed himself. I look at Brian and look back at the letter in my hand and begin to read it out loud for us both to hear.

Justin, I know that if you are reading this then I succeeded in killing myself. I want you to be happy again and this is my plea to you. ** _I hope he never hurts you like I know, I hurt you, but I was undecided and it was all that I could do. if he says he loves you like I know I loved you  
then there's a way to trust him. And I’ll get over you. So let his heart surround you, and let his arms protect you. And hold you every morning the way that I could never do. Another life has blessed you; he wants the same as you do So, I must find the courage to send you on your way. All the nights reflecting in our chance connecting helped me to find meaning in the life I had with you. I wish I'd heard when you said that your heart could not wait but it was my decision to send you on your way. I hope he loves you like I loved you, I hope he knows you like I do 'cause if he loves you like I love you, then I can send you on your way. _ ** Justin, I know that you need him, as much as he needs you. Please don’t be afraid to move on with Brian. He’s a great guy and I just want you happy. I will just wait here patiently until the day comes, which will be awhile. I love you Justin, and I know Brian does to, so like I said, find the meaning with him again. Let him protect you and love you, like I can’t do now. I’ll watch over you from here. Love always, Mikey.

I get up and walk over to the bar and pour myself a drink. I drink it down in one gulp as Brian watches me. 

“Justin, is he saying what I think he’s saying?” 

“If you mean having his fucking approval to move on with you and to let you in and love me, then yes.”

“J, this means you and I can be together, guilt free.” 

“What were you feeling guilty about?” I ask him.

“Nothing, but I know that you have been avoiding your heart with me. Justin, that letter is his way of telling you to let him go. That he is letting you go, and to be happy now. So now, it’s time to let go of him as well. Of the guilt you were feeling. Of everything and let me hold you and kiss you and love you like you deserve.” He puts his arms around my waist and pulls me back into his chest. 

“I know, it’s just odd. No, it’s fucked up that the fucking letter made me feel better when all this time I blamed myself. I still do in some ways, but I didn’t want to move on. I just kept hoping it was a dream and he would walk up to us and be okay, but the letter proves to me that he’s gone. No fucking return address.” I wipe a tear and Brian tightens his hold on me.

“Justin I know that I can tell you over and over I love you, which I do, but all my actions have also told you how I feel. They scream my love for you. I can’t promise we won’t hurt each other, but I can promise that we will always work through things and I will never lie to you or cheat on you.” 

“Brian.”

“No, look I know Mikey fucked up but I’m older, wiser and better looking then him and know what I have in you and I will NOT do anything to ruin that.” 

“Brian.” I say again.

“Sunshine, just grant Mikey that wish of you being happy. I know I make you happy.”

“Yes you do, but.” 

“No buts, unless it’s one of ours in the air. Justin, give me this chance. It’ isn’t your fault on what Mikey did, but it is your fault if you let what he did stop you from living your life to the fullest. Don’t let his death ruin your life.”

“Brian!” I say again. “Yes.” 

“I will do the best I can, I promise. But if you fucking hurt me, I will bury you next to your so-called best friend. I loved him Brian and I gave him everything, if I do this with you, please don’t let it end like that.”

“First off, I don’t plan on cheating on you or killing myself. I’m too beautiful to die for any cause. I would die for you, but not FOR you or not because of mistakes. Shit! what am I trying to say?”

“That even though you would die for me, it would be to save my life. “ 

“Yes. That’s it.” He leans down and kisses me. 

“I can’t promise you that this will happen over night, but I will try my best. Getting over someone isn’t that fast, at least for me. I do have feelings for you, and I want to dig deeper into them, but it needs to be at a pace that’s good for us both.” 

“Sounds like a plan Sunshine.” 

For the next two days we’ve been getting closer. I’m slowly letting him into my heart and he is slowly showing me how he feels about me. Reading the letter every time I get worried, and see that Mikey wants me to be happy and he has given us his blessings to be together and be happy.

We were sitting on the couch watching Everyone Loves Raymond when there was a knock on the door. I get up and slid it open to see a man in a business suit. 

“The man downstairs let me in on his way out. Sir, I need to get something that was delivered here by accident. It wasn’t supposed to get here for another year when the person it’s addressed to will be back from Paris.” 

“Umm what letter?” I ask him.

“It was addressed to a Justin Taylor. The man who wrote it brought it in and paid top dollar to make sure it gets to Mr. Taylor in a year when he returns home.” My mouth went dry and I felt like Iwas going to fall over. 

“Are you talking about this one?” I take it out of my pocket and hand it to him.

“Yes sir. But you opened it.” The man tells me.

“It wasn’t supposed to get here for a fucking year?” I say for more myself then anyone.

“Yes sir. He paid us top money. Telling us he was leaving the country and wanted to leave something for Mr. Taylor in case he doesn’t return.” 

Brian comes over behind me and wraps his arms around me. “What’s wrong Sunshine? Who are you and what did you say to him?” He looks at the man in the suit.

*************************  
“I was just telling him that there was a letter sent here by accident for a Mr. Taylor that wasn’t supposed to be delivered until next year. But he opened it. Sir, do you realize that it’s against the law to open mail that isn’t addressed to you?”

“It’s not illegal to open something if that something that is addressed to him.” I feel myself getting angry.

“He’s Mr. Taylor?” The man asks pointing to Justin. 

“Yes he’s Justin Taylor. Get out of here.” Justin walks over and sits down.

“Sir?” 

“Look, the man who paid you to send that letter NEXT FUCKING YEAR was his lover who killed himself the same day he arranged this little fucking charade. We just got him over this and moving on, and now this is going to fucking set him back. Knowing that his ex boyfriend, who killed himself, wanted him to suffer for a fucking year.”

“I’m so sorry sir, I didn’t know.”

“I know, sorry to yell at you. Just that, damn, he doesn’t need this on his mind now.” I look over at Justin.

He is sitting there looking at the letter. I look back to the guy and smile. “I hope you aren’t expecting a tip.”

“I’m not, I just feel bad for this. If there is anything I can do.”

“Just show yourself out. Here.” I hand him a five, “You did come over yourself to try to do what you thought was right. Have to respect that” He nods his head and hands it back. 

“Its ok sir, I should have asked his name first.” I nod and as he leaves I slide it into his jacket. Smiling knowing I always fucking win. 

I walk over to Justin and sit next to him as he stares at the letter in his hand.

“Justin. It doesn’t change anything.” 

“Yes it does. It changes every fucking thing.” He said looking from me to the letter again “Everything”


	11. To Tell the Truth

Thx again to my wonderful beta Britt and to the girls. This may seem like the end but there is still one more chapter to come.

* * *

Justin POV:

“Justin, what are you talking about?” Brian asks me.

“I said it changes everything” I whisper, looking down at the letter that I have now read close to a hundred times.

“Justin, you’re scaring me. What has to change?” He asks me again.

“Brian, don’t you understand? He didn’t want me to move on for a fucking year. He wanted me to suffer. How the hell do you say you love someone so much, that you kill yourself and WANT them to suffer? It makes no fucking sense to me Brian.”

“I know Justin. It doesn’t.” He tells me.

“So why the fuck am I suffering?” I start to cry again.

“Because you loved him and to find out about this hurts” He whispers from behind me.

“Brian, I know if I gave him another chance he would still be here, but after this shit” I throw the letter down, “I can’t believe he would do this. I mean hell, killing himself that he knew would hurt me and then he actually…fuck Brian” I scream out. 

“Justin, I know this is hard to digest but this is what he wanted.”

“I know, fuck Brian, I loved him so fucking much. How can you say you love someone and then to turn and do what he did? It’s going to change everything” I pick up some water and take a drink.

“What is going to change?” He asks me again.

“Brian, I am not going to just sit here and wallow in his pity. It’s what he wants. At first, hell yes I was doing that but after finding out the man I loved WANTED me to suffer puts a new perspective in my life. I am fucking moving on and letting him go. I am through wallowing and through crying over him.” I say crying.

“Ok, maybe after this cry” He pulls me into a hug.

After my ‘last cry’ I went to wash my face. I walk out and stand there watching Brian look out the window. 

“Brian, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, he was your best friend.” 

“Justin, don’t you fucking apologize for Michael’s actions. I am just as pissed at him for doing this. But not to me, for what he did to you. Justin I can deal with what he did to me. I am just pissed that he is pissing you off like this.” 

“Brian, look, I’m pissed because after everything he still has a way to get to me. I know I said it changes everything, but can we talk about this?” 

“Of course.” Brian says as takes me over to the couch where we sit down.

“Ok, I want to continue what we have. I promise to try not to hold back. Yes, I am fucking terrified that you will hurt me somehow, or kill yourself even though you told me that you wouldn’t do that over a person. I never thought Mikey would either. I am going to move on. Let him go. Or do my best to do that. I can’t promise I won’t freak out about this every once in awhile. Just give me some time to get used to it.” 

**Six Months Later**

Brian and I have been together for six months now after the suicide of Mikey. He’s been really patient with me with my freak outs and my ‘one last cries’ 

We are sitting here watching Dirty Dancing and I get up to get some water, coming back in I see Brian watching the part where baby and Johnny are in the dance hall. I put the drink down and go in front of the TV. Mimicking what they say on the movie. 

I point to Brian “How do you call your lover boy” 

Brian looks up. “Come here lover boy” Smirking.

“And if he doesn’t answer” I smile back.

“Oh lover boy” he rushes out to me, grabbing my arm. 

“And if he STILL doesn’t answer” I lean over.

“I simply say, Baby “ and he pulls me into a kiss.

I pull back and put my head to his. “Brian” I whisper.

“Yes Sunshine”

“I’m horny” I smirk as he laughs. 

“Fuck don’t scare me like that. So you’re horny. Want me to help?” He looks at me and I nod my head.

 

Brian POV:

I stand up, taking Justin with me as I just look into his eyes. I could stare at him forever.

Ever since that letter and finding out Mikey’s intentions with it, Justin has opened up to me more and I love what I have found out about him. How he smiles in his sleep and wakes up with a hard on. Or, how he smells after a shower or before a shower. I love the little things about him.

He always seems to shock me and he’s always making me blush with his way of fun. I won’t admit to blushing, but I do. Alone with him I do. The family have seemed to make up with Justin. They’ve never blamed Justin but only now Justin believes them.

Justin has even started talking to Ben, funny how tragedy brings people closer. He doesn’t blame Ben anymore. After making them talk about things, they find out that they share a lot in common and not only a dead lover.

Anyway, back to the present. I lay Justin on the bed and tear off his pants since we already removed our other clothes 

I hear him moaning as I kiss his stomach. He runs his hands through my hair. I reach over to grab a condom and the lube and place the condom on him. He looks up at me. 

“I want to feel you inside me Sunshine” He smiles at me. 

I get pulled down into a kiss and then he rolls me over, getting between my legs and licks down, taking me into his mouth. After he prepares me, I feel the head of his dick pushing in. “Oh god I fucking love that feeling” 

“Shit so tight Bri” Justin tells me

“Fuck me Sunshine.” I grunt through clenched teeth.

He starts to pound into me and I lose track of if it’s day or night and at the moment I don’t fucking care. I have my baby inside me, searching my insides for his buried treasure.

Before I could react I let out a scream “SHIT!” 

I look up to Justin and smile. “Feels so fucking awesome. Shit, fuck Sunshine, fuck me” I can’t believe I am begging someone to fuck me, it’s always been the other way around. 

He leans over and starts to stroke my hard cock and if I thought it couldn’t get better, it did. God! To have him in me, stroking me, nothing fucking better. He leans over and bites on my neck. Fuck, wrong again. 

He strokes with his thrusts and I feel like this is heaven. I look up at Justin’s face and he has his head tilted back and his mouth open. No, that is fucking heaven right there. He’s my fucking angel.

I feel him jab a few times at my prostate and before I knew it, we were both shooting our loads. 

Justin leans over onto me and kisses me. “Shit” He starts to chants “Shit shit shit” “That was fucking awesome.”

“Yes it was. Damn Justin, you really know how to make me fucking beg.” He smiles at that.

“I like it when you beg, it’s so fucking hot.” He lies down next to me once he threw the condom in the trash can. 

“I’ll remember that” I laugh with him as he snuggles up to me. This is something else I haven’t done with anyone else. 

“Brian” He starts to say.

“What Jus?” I ask him.

“Thank you” 

“For what?”

“For letting me do this at my own pace.” 

“Sunshine, listen to me. I would wait forever for you. I love you. I know that those words get thrown out around a lot and can mean nothing to some but for me to say them to you, I mean them more then my own life means to me.”

“I know you do. And I can say I love you too without any hurt from the Michael thing. Yes, it gets to me sometimes, but I know that you are not like him.” He kisses my chest. 

 

Justin POV:

I’m being shaken and screaming out Brian “Justin, fucking wake up” I open my eyes and realize that I’m being held by Brian, who has a bloody nose. 

“Justin, are you awake?” I look back up to him with tears in my eyes. “What the fuck is going on with you?” He asks me. I get up and move away. 

“Justin?” He comes up behind me and I move away. “I can’t fucking do this Brian. He’s fucking with me in my damn dreams. Every time I get happy he has to fuck with me somehow.” I start to cry as he moves closer. 

“Tell me what the fuck happened.” He demands.

“I don’t want to talk about it” I tell him

“Well to fucking bad. When something messes up my looks you better believe we’re gonna talk about it. Now talk.” 

“I was just dreaming” 

“No shit Sherlock. And you said Mikey was in it?” 

“Ya, he was telling me that I can’t be happy. That I’m the reason he’s dead. He told me that no matter how happy I am with you that the death of him will always be in between us.” 

“You know that’s not true.” He runs a hand down my cheek and I move away.

“I’m sorry. I know he’s dead but fuck! Brian he was my lover, and your best friend.”

“But at the time he wasn’t your lover.” 

“I know. Brian listen to me. He is fucking right on so many things.”

“No he isn’t. Okay tell me why it got violent”

“He said that he won’t let us be happy and that I was nothing but a slut and that I never loved him or cared for him because I have moved on and that he won’t forgive me for what has happened. I told him that it wasn’t my fault and he went to swing at me and I swung back and I guess that’s when I hit you. I didn’t mean to do that, I thought you were him.”

“Yeah, I was trying to wake you up when you swung. You just saying ‘No Mikey’ and that’s when you swung.”

“Yeah, he was hitting me in the dream. He was laughing at me for being such a drama queen.” I wipe away my tears.

“Justin I want you to listen to me. Now, you are going to come with me right now. Let’s go. Get dressed.”

After getting dressed Brian drives up to the grave and I look at him, as he takes my hand.

We walk over to the grave and Brian let’s go of me. He kicks the tombstone. “Wake up you fucker and listen to me. You are going to stop messing with Justin. He is alive and you are fucking dead, so be dead and leave us alone. You left him, no you left us and we have grieved the right amount of time and you wanted him to suffer for a fucking year. You asshole. Now look, Justin was nothing but good to you so do something in return and let him be happy.” 

I look at Brian. He thinks I’ve lost it? 

“Mikey, look we both loved you, but you left us. We are happy together, let us be happy. I promise you that no more harm will come to him, but if you keep messing with him, harm will come to me with him punching at you but hitting me and then I will even be more pissed at you. When we remember you at least let it be with happy times and no violence.” He bends down. “I love him Mikey. Please let me love him like he should be loved and let him feel free to love me like I know he does. I am not a begging man, but I am begging this of you.”

He pulls me to him and hugs me. “Go ahead Justin.” He moves away from me.

I lean down and touch the stone. “Mikey, he’s right. I loved you more then anyone but you are gone. Please let me be happy. Let me move on without the hurt or guilty feelings. I need him Mikey. I need to move on. I grieved for you; I did in more ways then one. I will always love you, but you are gone. Let me love him in peace.” I look up to Brian who nods his head. 

“Mikey, he’s a great man and he makes me smile and laugh. If you loved me, please, let me go so I can let go and be happy too.” 

Brian gets behind me. “If you loved him as much as you told me you did, let him be happy, let me make him happy. At least with me you know he’s safe” 

We stand there a few minutes before getting up and going back to the car. As I get in I turn around and see Mikey standing there, with a look on his face, but I can’t tell what it is, as soon as I blink he disappears. 

I get into the car, looking at the grave once more as Brian pulls away. I hear the voice I heard so many times in the past saying ‘I love you Justin.” I look back and see Mikey smiling at me.


	12. To Tell the Truth

This is not beta'ed so any mistakes are my own. I want to thank everyone for their help on this story. Denise, thanks for the idea.   
The part in ** ** are song lyrics from a song called 'So You Are to Me' and it's by a great band called EASTMOUNTAINSOUTH.

* * *

**Justin POV:**

It’s been a week since the graveyard scene and Mikey seems to be talking to me. I know Brian is getting worried about me. Hell I am worried about me but Brian tells me this passed week I have opened up more and seem happier.

“Justin.” I turn to see Brian standing there. 

“You look fucking hot” I tell him.

“Get your ass over here.” I move to him and he kisses me. “You ready for Babylon?” He asks me and I nod my head.

We grab our coats and head out to dance. Once at Babylon and a few drinks later I am in Brian’s arms, kissing him. Grinding our hard dicks together. We are into our dance when Brian leans over. 

“Ready to go home Sunshine” He kisses my neck.

“Always ready for you.” I tell him as we move out telling the boys good night.

We get back to the loft and as we walk in I see Mikey standing there. 

“Shit he’s back” I hear Brian saying. 

I lose track of Brian’s voice and study on Mikey. He looks at me with his eyes shining. 

“You are happy Justin?” Mikey asks me.

“Yes.” I tell him. I should be used to this, but for some reason the look in his eyes tell me something is different this time “ I have to go Justin. I wanted to make sure you are happy. I am so sorry for what I did. I loved you so much. I want you happy. Brian is a good man and I know you will be safe together. I know you had every right to be pissed at me and now I see that making you suffer for my actions isn’t right. As the music at the banquet, as the wine before the meal, as the firelight in the night, so are you to me. As the ruby in the setting, as the fruit upon the tree, as the wind blows over the plain, so are you to me.” **

It’s a song we used to recite to each other. It is his way of saying he will always love me more then anything in this life or the next. 

 

“I am happy” I tell him again. I wipe a tear and feel arms around me. I know Brian is behind me as I lean into him. “What’s he saying Sunshine” I love how he supports me on this. He knows I’m not crazy. 

“That he has to go and for us to be happy” I tell him.

“Justin, I need to go. Please understand that I will always be a part of you but I won’t be back like this.” 

“I know, take care Mikey and thank you. I will always love you to.” 

“Just be happy Justin. For everyone, but mostly for you. I have to go now. Tell asshole I love him to.” He smirks at me. 

“He saids he loves you Brian” 

“Ya me to Mikey. Bye Mikey” Brian tells him. It’s like for an instant he can see him also. 

“Bye Brian, Bye Justin.” He tells me before starting to fading out. “So are you to me” We both say as he smiles one last time when he finally fades all the way out.

I lean back into Brian’s chest. “You okay Baby?” He asks me.

“Yes, I am very much okay.” I turn to kiss him. 

“I was starting to worry about you there.” 

“I know, but it’s good that his ghost came back to tell me to go on.”

“Justin do you know how crazy that fucking sounds?” We both laugh.

“Thanks for being patient with me” I tell him, kissing him again.

“Anything for you sunshine but make that the last ghost you ever see or talk to.” He puts his head to mine.

“I promise” I look back to where Mikey was standing and turned around back to Brian. “No more ghosts” I smile as I pull his lips to mine.

“Good because let’s face it, I am crazy for going along with it.” He kisses me again as we begin to take our clothes off. 

“I know, and I guess I just needed to work it out in my own mind and now I have and I am even hornier then I was because your dick is against mine now, with nothing between them.”

“Then lets get this true reunion onto the bed.” We move to the bed where we continue to attack each other and make love all night together with no visits from anyone.

As he holds me in his arms I lean up and kiss him.

“I love you Brian”

“I know and I love you to”

**Six Months Later**

**Brian POV:**

It’s been six months since Mikey’s ghost left us alone and every night has been great. Justin has really opened up We have moved to New York and have a great loft together and everything is going great.

I got Justin a job at my office in the art department. I see him all the time and it’s great. When we left the Pitts everyone was very happy for us both. 

I get home to find Justin laying on the couch, reading a magazine

“Justin what are you doing?” 

“Reading. Okay looking at the pictures” He gets up and kisses me.

“I have dinner.” I tell him and we get the plates to put the food in.

As Justin begins to eat he stops chewing and looks at me with a questioning look. 

“What’s wrong Sunshine” I say smiling.

He pulls something out of his mouth and looks at me, licking the food off it he looks at me in shock.

“Wow, where did that come from?” I ask as he looks at me and to the ring and back to me. 

“Wow, I know how to make you speechless now.” He slaps me.

“Brian” He smiles with tears in his eyes.

“Justin, I love you and I can’t imagine my life without my Sunshine. Will you marry me?” I ask him and he wipes his tears as I take the ring and slide it on his finger. 

“Oh my god, YES I will.” He leans over and kisses me 

I am tackled by Justin I look over to the couch and see Mikey smiling at me with his thumb up. I shake my head and see him smiling. “Keep him happy or I will haunt you til your dying day” I nodded as he vanishes from my sight. Wow, maybe Justin wasn’t so crazy after all. Or maybe I am just as crazy as he is.

 

**three years later**

Justin and I got married in a small commitment with just our family and friends. Justin didn’t want anything big and I am thankful for that. Justin wanted to come back to Pittsburgh again to do something special for the anniversary of Mikey’s death. 

We went to the grave where I left him alone to talk to him but Justin wanted me to stay. The whole gang was there and they were all happy for us. 

Justin got up and turned to everyone. 

“We decided to do this for Mikey but in the long run it’s for us all. I know that we all had a rough time letting him go, but I have to say, I couldn’t have gotten this far with you all. Especially you Brian. I know I went through some rough spells but with you by my side, I made it.”

He looked up to the sky. “I’m happy, thank you for letting me be happy.”   
“Baby I am so glad to hear how happy you are” Deb tells me as she hugs me, wiping tears from her own face. 

“I am” I repeat as I look over at Justin holding our two children. Taylor and Brianna. 

“Justin.” Ben calls to Justin, hugging him.

“Ben I am glad you came.” I hear Justin tell him and I move over to them. “Me to” I tell him as I put the kids down to shake his hand.

“Are we ready?” Justin asks and we all look at each other and nod our heads. “Okay then let’s do this.”

Justin takes Deb’s hand and the let the doves and balloons go together in memory of their love for Mikey.

The kids squeal and jump up and down. I see Justin take two balloons and hand one to each kid. “From Angel Mikey, watching over you” I smile at him. He smiles back at me and looks up, smiling at the sky. I go over to him and put my arm around him, looking up with him.

“Nothing beats the sunshine shining down on my own Sunshine.” I whisper to him. He squeezes my hand around his waist. 

“And nothing beats you Jonny” He smiles back at me. “I love you Brian” 

“Love you to Baby” I repeat as we both look up, saying the next line together.

“For life”

* * *

This may or may NOT be the end of this story. I might do a sequel to it. But as of right now, I have 7 others on the shelf as well as the stand alones that won't seem to leave me alone. If you would like a sequel to this, please let me know. Thanks for everyones great feedback.


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